Because I knew you... I have been changed for good
Ganta
06-29-2020, 10:24 AM
Roza was overwhelmed. She wasn’t sure how to respond to any of it and whatever responses she did manage to put together in her head just seemed not quite right. She missed Ganta with every fiber of her being and she wondered if getting this small taste of being with him would make that better or worse. It was like the most cruel joke knowing that after these few precious moments she would open her eyes and he would be gone again. At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit hopeful after his insistence that she let her heart be open to the idea of loving someone else. They had still been so young when he was killed and at times she felt like she had missed out on so much of her love and life in the years after his death. She still loved Ganta so deeply, but perhaps he was right... maybe she should try to love someone else as well to try and get back some of that time she missed out on. Ganta would always be her first and truest love, but maybe there was room in her life now for more. She returned his sad smile with one of her own, holding on to his not quite solid form as tightly as she could for what little time they might have left. "I love you too... I know you’re right, it’s just so hard. I worry about Philly and Ulric so much... I feel so guilty for not being with Philly so far too long and for making Ulric feel like he needed to put his life on hold for me... I tried to be a good mother, but I just... I don’t think I have been...” A heavy sigh passed her lips as an even heavier wave of regret and sorrow settled over her. She loved being a mother so much, but she hadn’t been prepared to be one on her own. She tried to be strong for them for so long, but in the end she couldn’t tell if she did more harm than good. |
