"What If..."

Ignis · 07-18-2020, 03:57 PM

"I'm sorry, I just - fuck - everything is just..." Ignis managed to mostly reign in any harsh words he might have responded with, but instead he just muttered a "Yeah no shit," under his breath that wasn't loud enough for Corvus to hear him. All of a sudden he could feel the stress slamming down onto his shoulders, and he briefly wondered if this was the kind of stress his uncle felt everyday. Or at least, until the debt with Hjarrandi was paid. He tried to shake off his nerves. Tried to calm the shaking he suddenly felt in his limbs and the painful hammering of his heart against his chest. He suddenly felt like he wanted to just get out of there and never say anything at all but...he knew if he didn't get this out now, it would keep eating him up. He couldn't help it anymore. He kind of hated how Corvus seemed to act nonchalant about this, but he also kind of felt like he was just as nervous and uncomfortable as Ig felt now.

"What is it then?" Shit. Now that he was here...now that Corvus was standing in front of him, Ignis wasn't entirely sure what to say. His legs and tongue suddenly felt like lead. Like he suddenly couldn't find his voice. He felt cold all of a sudden, too. Which was...unusual since it wasn't really cold. His stomach felt like it twisting up in knots, and even as he tried to swallow, it was almost as if he was about to choke. The anger was still there...but the thought of what he wanted to tell one of the very few people he had ever trusted made him extremely nervous and scared. And anyone who knew him knew he wasn't the type to really get nervous or scared. Anger? sure. Sadness? Of course. But frightened or nervous? He couldn't recall when he'd felt that way. This was new to him. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself, but it didn't work.

He felt like the pair of them were standing there forever suspended in silence, but it was likely only a minute or two before he forced himself to talk. "Corvus...I don't really know how to say this, so I'm going to just go ahead and spit it out." He swallowed again, only for him to feel like he was about to choke...again. And despite his tongue feeling dry, he forced himself to continue. "A lot of shit has happened in my life, and you're the only other one I trust outside of my family. I didn't know if I'd be able to trust so quickly and easily, but somehow...you managed to bring that out, and probably without realizing. When Abaven caught fire and you showed up at Winterfell's border, I told you how worried I was. That I was even willing to risk myself to come and find you just to make sure you were okay. You were there when my...when Elias...showed up to my older brothers challenge and you heard the things I said to him. You were the first real friend I ever had..." There was a lot more, but in his anxious state, he couldn't think about every single thing right now.

Corvus had seen a lot of sides of him that he hid from nearly everyone else. With the exception of his uncle and sister, of course. He started to fidget a bit as he struggled to say what he wanted. But nothing made sense anymore. "I-I think about you a lot. I worry about you all the time. I know you can probably take care of yourself just fine, but...after the fire...I couldn't stop thinking about you. And when you came to Winterfell and I tried to patch you up in my den...just having you so close was comforting..." That was when his feelings about his friend grew significantly. When his confusion grew just as much. "I didn't want you to leave...I...I wanted you to stay...with me..." His gaze slowly rose to meet Corvus' eyes. "I didn't understand it yet...and I've never felt this way with anyone else but...I...I think I love you, Corvus..."

"Speech"

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