"What If..."
Corvus
07-18-2020, 05:09 PM
Corvus felt so uneasy. He'd never really been uncomfortable around Ignis, but suddenly he felt completely at a loss for words.. and for what to do at all, if he was being honest. The feelings that had welled up inside him at the raid had returned, against all his attempts to quell them, and left him feeling even more confused than he had before. The words Ignis muttered under his breath made him flinch. Was Corvus being unreasonable? Maybe. But was Ignis even attempting to understand where he was coming from? He felt his head spinning as he tried to figure it out, physically biting his tongue to keep himself from saying anything stupid, in spite of his frustrations.
When Corvus asked why he'd called him, Ignis seemed to pause. Corvus couldn't help but fear the worst. Was he so mad at how he'd acted at the raid that he didn't want to be friends anymore? Maybe that was what he was about to say? Fuck. His worries seemed to make his stomach drop, like he'd tripped and fallen over a steep dropoff; but all he could do was stand awkwardly and wait for Ignis to tell him - and if it was something bad like that, he'd be ready to break down and apologize and beg for his best friend to forgive him.
Ignis started talking, but he didn't say what he was trying to get out right away. He mentioned being worried about him, after Abaven's fire, about how Corvus had shown up at that one fight. Corvus nodded in understanding, appreciating his words. He worried about Ignis a lot too. He'd been busy lately with Twig and other things within Abaven, but he thought of his friend in Winterfell often. He cared a lot.. that was why seeing them come to raid had hurt so much. Corvus recognized that now, even if putting those thoughts into words was much more difficult than he hoped. But Ignis went on, reminding him of how close they'd been when Ignis had helped clean up his paws after the fire. The thought made him feel faint. He'd felt safe there and going back home to Abaven had been quite difficult, to say the least. What was his point, though? Firstly he thought Ignis might be asking him to stay in Winterfell, and he decided he really didn't know what he'd say to that, but he continued on.. admitting he... loved him?
He fought back the instinct to admit that he loved him too. Ignis didn't mean like a close friend, or like a family member. He was reminded suddenly of the meal Twig had so cleverly prepared for him, and her nervous admission after, that she wanted to be with, that she loved him. This was... what Ignis was saying, wasn't it? He felt a million things all at once - a wave of relief washed over him, relief that Ignis wasn't trying to tell him they weren't friends anymore, that he wasn't yelling at him. He felt like his head had been taken out and shaken up until it was completely rearranged. Felt like he might throw up, right then and there, and he was grateful when he didn't. "Ignis, I..." Why hadn't he admitted this earlier? At the raid, even? Everything would be so much easier. He was reminded of Twig, in all her sweetness, and thinking of her - something that normally brought him a lot of joy - suddenly made him feel even more sick. Corvus was forced to avert his gaze, surprised to find tears stinging at his eyes and threatening to fall.
He suddenly felt torn between what he was feeling and what he was supposed to be feeling. Was this love? Wasn't he in love with Twig? Fuck, fuck, FUCK. He wished so badly he could stop the sudden barrage of thoughts that seemed to be stampeding through his head. "Ignis, I have.." He needed to tell him, about Twig, but more than that he wanted to make sure he was alright. His friend looked nervous as hell and he wasn't used to that. Comforting him seemed like a natural thing to do, and after a moment of hesitation he moved to touch his nose to Ignis's shoulder. His scent was comforting - it reminded Corvus of home, even though he smelled nothing like Abaven anymore - and without thinking he realized he was burying his nose into his thick red fur and breathing him in. "..I have ...a girlfriend," he finally choked out weakly, but made no effort to pull away from him.
When Corvus asked why he'd called him, Ignis seemed to pause. Corvus couldn't help but fear the worst. Was he so mad at how he'd acted at the raid that he didn't want to be friends anymore? Maybe that was what he was about to say? Fuck. His worries seemed to make his stomach drop, like he'd tripped and fallen over a steep dropoff; but all he could do was stand awkwardly and wait for Ignis to tell him - and if it was something bad like that, he'd be ready to break down and apologize and beg for his best friend to forgive him.
Ignis started talking, but he didn't say what he was trying to get out right away. He mentioned being worried about him, after Abaven's fire, about how Corvus had shown up at that one fight. Corvus nodded in understanding, appreciating his words. He worried about Ignis a lot too. He'd been busy lately with Twig and other things within Abaven, but he thought of his friend in Winterfell often. He cared a lot.. that was why seeing them come to raid had hurt so much. Corvus recognized that now, even if putting those thoughts into words was much more difficult than he hoped. But Ignis went on, reminding him of how close they'd been when Ignis had helped clean up his paws after the fire. The thought made him feel faint. He'd felt safe there and going back home to Abaven had been quite difficult, to say the least. What was his point, though? Firstly he thought Ignis might be asking him to stay in Winterfell, and he decided he really didn't know what he'd say to that, but he continued on.. admitting he... loved him?
He fought back the instinct to admit that he loved him too. Ignis didn't mean like a close friend, or like a family member. He was reminded suddenly of the meal Twig had so cleverly prepared for him, and her nervous admission after, that she wanted to be with, that she loved him. This was... what Ignis was saying, wasn't it? He felt a million things all at once - a wave of relief washed over him, relief that Ignis wasn't trying to tell him they weren't friends anymore, that he wasn't yelling at him. He felt like his head had been taken out and shaken up until it was completely rearranged. Felt like he might throw up, right then and there, and he was grateful when he didn't. "Ignis, I..." Why hadn't he admitted this earlier? At the raid, even? Everything would be so much easier. He was reminded of Twig, in all her sweetness, and thinking of her - something that normally brought him a lot of joy - suddenly made him feel even more sick. Corvus was forced to avert his gaze, surprised to find tears stinging at his eyes and threatening to fall.
He suddenly felt torn between what he was feeling and what he was supposed to be feeling. Was this love? Wasn't he in love with Twig? Fuck, fuck, FUCK. He wished so badly he could stop the sudden barrage of thoughts that seemed to be stampeding through his head. "Ignis, I have.." He needed to tell him, about Twig, but more than that he wanted to make sure he was alright. His friend looked nervous as hell and he wasn't used to that. Comforting him seemed like a natural thing to do, and after a moment of hesitation he moved to touch his nose to Ignis's shoulder. His scent was comforting - it reminded Corvus of home, even though he smelled nothing like Abaven anymore - and without thinking he realized he was burying his nose into his thick red fur and breathing him in. "..I have ...a girlfriend," he finally choked out weakly, but made no effort to pull away from him.
