"What If..."

Corvus didn't know what to think, let alone what to feel - even more so he didn't know what to say to make things better. Maybe saying nothing was easier than saying the truth? That he loved him too, even if he loved Twig. That he didn't want to hurt her... or him, for that matter. He felt the hot sting of tears threatening to reach the surface of his eyes but he fought them back, wondering when he'd turned into such a crier. He'd never been much of one, but why lately did he find himself feeling so emotional? It was almost as if years of angst had build up and now threatened to overflow, and holding back his emotions was feeling harder and harder. Even harder now that Ignis looked so hurt. He felt a similar kind of desperation building, and seeing some of the light come back into his friend's eyes gave him hope that maybe he could somehow fix this. Somehow, he had to.

He had to just... keep speaking, even if he wasn't saying the right things. He was pretty sure letting silence fall over them would destroy all of this. "I know you wouldn't spy on us. Even Theory, after the raid, kind of applauded you for telling me beforehand about the raid. Reminded me how important friends like you are..." And Corvus had almost ruined it by being a dick to him, by being frustrated and not knowing how to handle his emotions properly. Things like expressing himself, saying what he really felt and wanted, had always been difficult for him. But now that he'd started speaking, he felt them continue, even though he felt like he should stop himself. "I want to see you more though. I have a lot to do in Abaven, with my rank and everything, but... I can visit you sometimes, and I'm sure you can visit me too. Whenever you want," he explained a bit hurriedly. "I think I love you too, Ignis, but I don't - I promised -" He'd told Twig he loved her. He'd promised himself to her. And he did feel that way, truly, but why did he also feel like... this? Fuck, this was all a lot to try to understanding and he wasn't sure he could even begin to.