The places we never should have left

*Casso* · 07-28-2020, 12:42 AM

Casso still didn't fully know the extent of his aunt and uncle's relationship, but the look on Acere's face told him that the message had been worth sharing. It made him curious so perhaps he would pester his uncle for more information at some other point. For now he needed to focus on the task at had and the formalities that went along with actually joining a pack. This would be the first time since Elias' pack dissolved that he would be a part of a formal, structured pack and he was both excited and nervous about the prospect. He hoped that the steady, constant structure of it all would help his mental state, but he supposed only time would tell.

He grinned a bit when the topic of his siblings and cousins came up and he couldn't describe how pleased he was that they were all here. It felt like this was where he was meant to be - back with his siblings and his family that fate had taken him from. He was glad that he was able to be with his mother through her final days, but now it was time for him to begin this new portion of his life. "Raids are fine with me," he replied easily with an understanding nod. He had never been someone to shy away from fights or spilling blood when it was necessary. Fighting had never been his favorite skill to hone, but he could do it if needed. Perhaps if he had more consistent tutoring he might learn to enjoy fighting more than he did, but that would have to be something he would explore more later. "For what it's worth, I'm most comfortable with being a hunter, but I'm happy to help wherever I'm needed," he added.

Casso wanted this to be a happy, simple reunion and an easy transition into being a part of his uncle's pack, but a voice nagged him in the back of his mind. For once it didn't feel like one of the voices that had become familiar, ever present ghosts lingering in his skull, but instead it was the voice of the kind healer he had met after the fight he had gotten in with the coyotes. Liz had recommended that someone around him know what was going on and as much as his pride wanted to hide it away and keep his shadows blocked from his family he knew that would only lead to heartache later on. The louder, more violent voices started to stir in his mind, cursing him for believing they were a weakness, for exposing their existence, and for a whole number of other things that he did his best to block out.

His ears flicked as he hesitated, his jaw tensing a bit as he tried to find the words to say. "There's... There's one other thing I need to talk to you about," he began, swallowing past his own injured pride. Asking for help was not something he was comfortable with - especially not from his uncle who he had just come back into contact with. The last thing he wanted now was to have any sort of comparison to his father or for any of his family to look at him with any sort of fear or concern. "I've always been told that I should always have someone I can go to when I... panic. My mother was that wolf and then it was Baine after she passed." His ruby and sapphire gaze slipped to the ground between them as he spoke, the vulnerability he was forcing himself into making him feel incredibly exposed. "I don't want to force you to be that for me now, but I have to at least tell you since I won't be around her any more." He sighed and forced himself to bring his eyes back to meet Acere's once again. "I hear voices like my father did. I ignore them pretty well most days, but sometimes I slip. They send me into panic attacks. I've learned how to deal with it for the most part and know what herbs to keep around to help, but..."

He stopped before he could say how the voices sometimes sounded like his mother and father or how they had pushed him to fight the bear that gave him most of his scars or how the whole reason he had fought the coyotes in the first place was because they had pressured him. A knot formed in his stomach while he waited to see Acere's reaction, hoping that this confession wouldn't force Acere to send him away. In all honesty he would understand if his uncle didn't trust him to stay here with this new information now out in the open, but he desperately hoped it wouldn't change anything.

"Speech" Thought

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