The long road

She knew that he felt similarly to her, how much it hurt to deny their natural order. Not being able to be close anymore because what if they went too far and couldn’t say no any longer? Or just saving herself from the hurt of rejection for the tenth time. Despite refusing each other she still felt that terrible pull of attraction but more than that she was still in love with him. It was a feeling she learned to deal with, and one that would never go away. There was too much history and emotions between them for it to dissipate as they maybe wished it.

These days she found it easier to let everything roll off her shoulders with an unassuming smile, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel the familiar pain. Her mismatched ears fell to her skull as he told her that he sometimes wished that she hated him. She closed her eyes and shook her head as he offered a kiss to her delicate paws. The familiar gesture causing her chest to swell further and her heart to beat more painfully. What would life be like if she had Sirius beside her instead of the list of wolves who let her down.

”Maybe we’d both feel a little better, but there are many other what if’s I’d take before that.” She spoke softly still, half lidded gaze searching his features. ”I may not be able to change things between us, but I’m thankful every day I have you to rely on.”