you're gonna love this (and by love I mean hate)

Fresh from a nap, Jupiter had arrived on the scene in a relatively good mood. That soured fairly quickly. Quite early in Tyrian's speech alarm started to show on Jupiter's face. At some point he started to shake his head in incredulity. He almost couldn't believe was he was hearing. THis was a joke, right? No way Tyrian was serious. This was some shit he'd cooked up with Chaos to pull his leg and have a laugh at his expense. Right? ...Right?

When it started to sink in that Tyrian was being serious Jupiter got angry. This was some shit. Why hadn't Tyrian offered to marry one of those bitches, why did Jupiter have to jump on this particular grenade? Huh? What sense did that make? Nah, no way. He wasn't going to fucking do it. Him, married? That was a laugh. He'd rather chew off his own foot. Tyrian was the fucking alpha. If he wanted this deal that he needed to do the hitching.

Jupiter gave one final, angry shake of his head and then sat down hard. Maybe he could talk to the lead bitch and make a better deal. His uncle may have been alpha, but he was young and inexperienced. Jupiter, on the other, had experience for days. He was certain he could schmooze Valkyrie and come up with something more acceptable - something that didn't involve him getting married. They were superstitious, right? Maybe he could sacrifice some chickens, put on a good show and make them believe Fireside would be held to the deal by a higher power or some shit.

Aw, fuck he was going to have to give up his freedom, wasn't he? The loss of nightlife would be a terrible blow. What would he do with all his free time? Being stuck with one woman sounded like it would get old fast. The thought was enough to snuff out his anger and leave him pensive. This was bullshit. He may as well admit he was old, give up the ghost and die already. No really, because who would he be without fun? Just a blue swirly middle aged man. All he would be missing was a passel of kids and he'd be the picture of propriety. The thought made him shudder.

The stages of grief went by in a flash and by the time Tyrian was done speaking Jupiter had been somewhat mollified by his own inner monologue. He still found the idea depressing. And he was a little angry too because fuck, what Tyrian was asking was the antithesis of everything Jupiter valued. The only thing keeping him from running for the hills was that this was family business. If anyone else had asked Jupiter would have laughed in their face and been gone in a flash. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck. Why did Tyrian have to be the one asking?

His tone somber, Jupiter finally muttered, "What the shit, Tyr?"