Ugh, labor pains...

Kichi refused to believe her words as they left the den. He didn’t think she was lying, just that she was confused. Something bad appeared to happen but it hadn’t. This would be good for Lurid. Kichi watched her as she moved forward, tail wagging faster as she agreed to show him. It would get better soon. Taking action in itself was a means of relief, he was moving between a jog and a run to keep up with Lurid’s long strides. The movement was easing a pressure that had been trying to weigh on his heart. After the next stride they would see his parents. The ‘next stride’ thought was a rhythm of thought that seemed to come every few strides.

There were a lot of strides and the assuredness was slipping with the silence and continuous motion. The whispers of doubts stirred the suggestion of something was wrong. Lurid had warned him. Didn’t he trust Lurid? She was really serious about this. His tail that had been up high but, was starting to go lower as the nasty thoughts wouldn’t leave. There was a battleground going on in that small puppy-head between hope and despair. Faith in the strength of his parents or fear at the truth in Lurid’s words. Suddenly he just wanted to run home. Kichi would wake up tomorrow and it would be ok.

Kichi caught up to being beside Lurid once she stopped before the clearing. That had been a long workout for him! His body was tired even as his mind and soul determined he would not rest until this was settled. What if mom and dad were hurt and needed them? Kichi tensed his muscles as he forced his mind into a readiness to do something. He didn’t know what that something would be but the grey and white pup would do it!

His thoughts had been talking to him about as loudly as Lurid but his head jerked up to her more at one word, “Goodbye?” For all he had been fighting the horrible thing, he hadn’t been able to put a name on it. There was that second of short horror in his eyes as if to capture the fullness of such a word. His head jerked away so that his eyes were not meeting hers but at the ground. She had to be wrong, but the puzzle was just to hard for Kichi to understand. How could he? If Lurid believed this lie, then how could Kichi understand it? She was a lot smarter after all. Mom and dad would explain what happened!

He accepted the lick though his gaze was ahead now instead of on her, struggling to work up his belief in his parents not being gone. He listened to her reasoning and rules. Her words had that unwanted feeling welling up in his chest again, his body gave a shudder he never told it too. She was wrong. There was a bit of silence as he collected himself before he found his inner strength. “It’s ok Lurid. I know the rules, but you’ll see. It will be ok,” the words came out remarkably calm. Fear was constantly trying to get through his wall of faith, his eyes seemed to shift between determination and fear.

Kichi moved forward with her. The elk drew his attention first, and for a moment his fears were lost in awe at the size of the creature. The size of such a creature to a small pup was impressive in his eyes. He stopped at the animal’s head, looking into its eyes that had lost something they contained when alive. A spark, a vividness that was just gone. There was a secret in there, the secret of a bridge of life and death. He hadn’t looked at the graves yet, nor paid attention to the scents around him. For well over a minute he stared at elk’s eyes as if it could give him the answers he’d been searching for. Finally, his head raised to look at the large antlers, where blood and flesh clung to them. Kichi’s tail went limp, smells that he hadn’t paid attention to were strong in the air.

Blood, his parents blood. Kichi was shivering but he didn’t notice, his heart was pounding too fast. Too many realities were hitting him at once. His eyes darted to the graves. His mind was screaming at him to run but his body refused the command, it made the screaming inside worse but he moved closer to the graves. He could smell them in there. Smell his parents under the earth.
Lurid had said he could put his head in her coat to muffle a scream. Kichi couldn’t open his mouth to cry if he’d wanted too. If he cried out the reality glaring at him would become that much more real. The stones, the elk, Lurid, the world wanted to start spinning. “No,” the word was a whisper, certainly no predator would come running from that. “No,” the word repeated more firmly as an answer took shape in his head, “no!” still quiet but fierce and Kichi turned and fled. His body was tired, his muscles warning him of their strain and his lungs warning of a limit. Fortunately, all the adrenaline from panic told him he could ignore those things for now. Of course, he was small and what seemed fast to him would be nothing for a grown wolf.