lead me out on the moonlit floor

Thalia was flooded with something akin to panic, or at least what she thought panic was supposed to feel like. She had no words for what she felt for Theory. In comparison to all the other wolves she'd ever met, her feelings toward Theory were like night and day; but she wasn't good at vocalizing her feelings, let alone comprehending them herself. But apparently this moment called for a lot of sudden reflection, and she already felt her thoughts reeling as Theory started to speak. Why the hell did Fel force this on me? Thalia found herself wondering. It was a position Eligos never would've put her in, but then again... he doubted he would've engaged in such a conversation with Theory. It was hard to shake the sudden feeling of nausea washing over her at her words, painfully honest, far more honest than she ever expected.

"Why?" Thalia asked after a moment of consideration. She wasn't arguing - she was genuinely curious. Maybe understand why Theory felt the way she did would help explain her own feelings. Or maybe it wouldn't do a damn thing - Thalia had no clue. "Why do you want me, I mean?" There was a strange, uneasy waver to Thalia's normally steady voice. "We're closer now, but.. we're from different worlds. I'm not like you, Theory." Thalia wasn't sure Theory comprehended just how different they were, or if she ever could. Both in personality and in the way they lived and viewed the world. Her morality was vastly different than Theory's, she was sure of that. How could such a thing even begin to work?

And then there was Eligos, who knew that part of why she was getting close to Theory was to learn more about Abaven... a very small fraction of the reason, but it was still present. Or was this the ultimate outcome? To seamlessly integrate herself into Abaven, one of Boreas's oldest packs, to spread the Abraxas influence even further? There were a million thoughts whirling in her head like a violent hurricane, upending everything in its path. The fact that Theory was female was just one of many obstacles standing in her way. No children. No carrying on her Abraxas bloodline, not with her, which was a disappointing fact due to Theory's.. erm, impressive physique. Thalia felt like she was sweating as she tried to make sense of her thoughts, suddenly worried about saying the wrong thing. "I like you. More than others I've met. I've liked you since we first met. That's why you beating me upset me so badly, way back then. I wanted to impress you. I still do. I'm just... afraid," she managed to get out, her voice barely audible at all. She didn't know what her feelings meant, or how acting on them would shape her future, and the not knowing was truly terrifying. This was not what God had intended for her, was it? Was He merely testing her, or was this all part of His bigger plan? Thalia didn't have a damn clue.