lead me out on the moonlit floor

Theory · 10-19-2020, 06:54 PM

break me like a promise

She inhaled deeply as Thalia began to speak. The sand felt like it was slipping away from beneath her paws and her vision narrowed to a dark pinpoint. For a moment she felt like she was going to go down, but she slammed back into reality. Theo was overcome with the unpleasant sensation of being viciously present in her own body. It was as if she was watching herself watch Thalia. Every exhale, every slight shift of her weight, was happening both to her and to the body she was inhabiting. It was itchy and uncomfortable. If she could have sloughed off her own skin that very moment, she would have. Instead she was forced to watch. And listen.

Of course they were different. Of course! Theory wanted to yell, but her anger was misplaced. She was mad at the situation they'd been dealt, not Thalia. Their circumstances - where they were born, how they were raised - were entirely outside of their control. But this moment! They had this moment and they could seize it, but instead she watched Thalia shrink further into herself and further away from her. Theory turned her head and lowered her gaze, guilty and mad like a child who'd been caught after they'd already been told off. She had known this would put Thalia out and make her uncomfortable. What more could she have expected? In fact, she was being given a lot more than she'd expected. Theo nibbled her lower lip as Thalia finished speaking, refusing to meet her warm-toned eyes. Playing nice with Thalia had never worked. It wasn't in her nature to respond to kindness. Could they ever become something more than two disparate halves? Fine. If kindness and honesty did not work, she would lash out with the only thing that ever had: a challenge. A call to action. Something that Thalia would understand. "If you want to impress me, come stay in Abaven. Two full seasons. If you hate it there - if you hate me - you can leave knowing that you tried. Make whatever excuse you need - or want to," she said, her voice stony and almost mean. It was necessary to put on airs to stop herself from weeping in front of her. That was something that she would not do. No, she would retreat a few kilometers back towards Abaven, and only then would she begin to weep. Big, ugly tears, with only Alouette to hear her. Taking a deep breath, Theory cast Thalia one last potent, wordless look before she quickly took leave, her nose pointing her back towards home.

"theory speaks!"

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