If You Only Knew

Alastor · 12-06-2020, 06:36 PM

It should have come as no surprise that Lurid would have been awake and alert to notice him try to slip away, no matter how stealthy he thought he had been. It still made the male's fur bristle unconsciously when he heard her melodic voice call out his name, though it wasn't in aggression. It was a gesture of tension, surprise and anxiety reading like words in a book in his posture. Despite his best attempts to remain stone-faced, his body language betrayed his thoughts. He turned his head a fraction of an inch towards her to acknowledge that he had heard her address him, but otherwise made no motion to face her, not even turning his eyes away from staring into space. She asked if he was okay. No, I'm not... She asked if it was nightmares upsetting his rest. Something like that... He didn't utter any of these thoughts, instead keeping them locked inside the prison that was his mind. He couldn't tell her the truth so bluntly. How could he? The truth would devastate her, ruin her dreams and plans of the future. But here she was. There was no avoiding this conversation now.

Alastor didn't show any signs of aggression or desire for her to back off when she came to sit closer to him. He appreciated her presence and he wouldn't scorn her for looking out for him. It was a nice gesture, one that she had been keen to for most of their lives. No one looked out for him, save for her. Perhaps that was why he had been so willing to bind himself to her. Blood repays blood. But now he was incapable of fulfilling his oath; how was he supposed to tell her that?! Alastor slowly closed his eyes, letting darkness blind him as he exhaled a long, drawn out sigh. There was no good way to tell her what had happened in that crystal cavern. With any luck, maybe he'd be able to convince her to cut him out without much reasoning why. It would be better for the both of them. She wouldn't have to be saddled with whatever burden he had been cursed with, and he... Well, he could finally cut loose and burn the world until the fires consumed him too. Death seemed like a preferable alternative to whatever may come, especially if it put Lurid in danger.

"You always could read me like a book, Lurid," he replied after a moment to collect his thoughts, a ghost of a smile painting his face as he cast a cursory glance over his shoulder at her. It was hollow though, lacking the carefree mirth the deranged man usually smiled with, his eyes missing the luster of insanity in them and appearing like sinkholes where shimmering onyx had once resided. "I just have a lot on my mind. It's nothing you need to worry yourself over..." Please just go back inside, Lu... Don't make this conversation happen... He knew it was wishful thinking, but maybe Lurid would take his half-truth at face value and go back to sleep. He glanced back at her again with the same feigned smile, his eyes drifting to the leg held in the sling. "You should go back to bed. We don't need anything else hurting you, not when you have a pack to prepare for..." His final sentence held a dark meaning only he knew. Nothing else is going to happen to you—because I won't allow myself to do anything to hurt you...

"Speech" | Thoughts

Warning: Alastor is an explicitly mature character for violent and sexual content. Read his threads with caution.
As his mate, Manea may enter any of Alastor's threads not marked Private.
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