If You Only Knew

The silence stretched between them, if not for the slight motion of his head, Lurid would have thought he was ignoring her. It was unlike him to tense at her approach, and for a moment, the empress felt her confidence waver. Had she done something to anger him? Nothing sprang to mind that would have been recent enough to warrant a reaction now, it had to be something else. His bristling didn't worry her, but it was unlike him to give anything away, let alone these small body cues she was able to see without even trying. There was something unraveling her dark knight, even if he wouldn't admit it right away. Whatever was keeping him awake, it was worse than when she had found him soaked in blood and hysterical all those years ago. Alastor wasn't one to fall apart and to see the string of his sanity coming undone slowly made her nervous. He was a grenade with a dysfunctional pin on the best days when something ate at him as it did now...There would be no saving anyone in his path when he detonated. There was no surprise on her face when he tried to deny anything was wrong, even a gentle roll of her eyes was given as he told her to go back to bed. Lurid knew there would be only one way to get him to come back to the den and help warm Kichi, she had to get him talking. Some days, getting the brute to shut up was the trick. This, however, would take some elbow grease and finesse. "Oh, well...If you insist..." She said gently, dejected-sounding as she tensed her body as if she was going to actually listen to what he was saying rather than what he wasn't.

Almost immediately, her body relaxed back into her seated position and she fixed him with a stare that said she wouldn't be moving any time soon. He wouldn't have left her side, and hadn't, even when she had gotten snappy. There was a part of her own vow that she took seriously, no matter what was going on in her life, she would be sure to make time for him. Lurid stood by her promises, they were binding, whether she brought darkness or light was entirely upon the one she made the promise to. A vow was much more serious, and if she failed to uphold her end, she would gladly meet her end. It was probably the oldest custom of the Amarix rulers, one that had been set in place by ancestors she couldn't even remember the names of. Their pact stated that should one go mad, the other would have to kill them or die themselves. After this legend, her family had made it a practice of theirs. It was a rather effective deterrent for some of the more dishonest Amarix family members, a way to ensure loyalty between family. Seeing as Lurid was not ready to die, she wouldn't be leaving Alastor alone when he clearly needed her.

The white in her holographic eyes glinted in the light of the full moon, making them gleam eerily as she fixed the abyssal depths of his own gaze with a look that said it all. She would obviously not be leaving him to catch death by himself. "I know you better than that, Alleycat." Lurid could feel her heart beating against her chest, what could he be keeping from her? The shadowy demon had never been one to keep things from her. She had been the one to discover him right after he killed his father, after all, and she hadn't said a damned thing about that. Surely her reaction wouldn't be as bad as he was expecting, nothing could be that bad, right? 'Why won't you talk to me?' The thought came unbidden, and something in her chest clenched tightly. Had she been wrong to kiss him after their escape from the crystal cavern? Betrothal or not, both of their parents were dead, she wanted Alastor to want her because he wanted her. If he didn't... Lurid swallowed the knot in her throat she had been unaware of. Why was she suddenly so nervous? Taking a soft, steadying breath, the pale goddess said nothing else, only sat there in the dark with the demonic man, and began to doubt herself. There was something foreign in his gaze, she recognized it, but there was no place for it on Alastor's handsomely chiseled face. That belonged to prey, to victims, to enemies. To see it on him made her pupils dilate in subconscious reflex, the hunter in her wanting to reach through and act, her own monster threatening to come to the surface.

There were only a scant few who knew what fear was for her, what the sight or smell or sound of fear did to her. It had taken her ages to learn to ignore it in Kichi but to see it suddenly manifest in a wolf who had never known fear was unexpected. The look caught her off her guard, and a tic worked at her jaw as she worked to restrain herself, keeping her struggle silent. "You can't lie to me, I see you." 'I smell you...' The last she didn't add, she also neglected to mention how the sick fantasy of delving her teeth into his flesh for keeping secrets when he made promises never to do such things, of bathing herself in his blood for daring to attempt to make her break her own vows to be there for him. The lines of Amarix ran deep with monstrosities, Lurid being the worst thus far, but sane enough to function. What could be worse than that?