A Home If You Want It

Avantika · 12-17-2020, 02:35 PM

The girl half-cowered, waiting for a reply. While the time was really nothing at all, it felt almost excruciating to her. She hated not knowing things. Especially things as vitally important as this. Her velvet blue eyes narrowed, and her tail pressed even further against her stomach.

'You don't have to be afraid,' Resin said. But was it true? Avantika wished she could see the future, to know what would happen. That would make this so much easier. But, of course, that wasn't possible. She could only use her own observations about the world and the people in it, and those observations were somewhat inconclusive so far. On the one hand, her parents, the ones she doubted she would ever really be able to talk about, but, on the other, Rudy and Bowen, and even Resin herself. They had been kind to her. They had taken her in and talked to her. But then, that could change. She probably wasn't good enough for them.

She followed the woman obediently. Wherever she ended up after this, she knew she couldn't fight Resin with her amateur fighting "skills". She knew very little about anything resembling real battle. A little sparring with another kid even younger than she didn't count. It was best to obey and not risk punishment in situations like this. At least she knew that. It was all she knew. Cowering and hiding and groveling before everyone she saw. It had helped her survive so far, but she couldn't suppress a twinge of bitterness. Regardless, this was now. She only had to worry about now at this moment. So she'd obey. Grovel as hard as she could if necessary. It was all she could do. She'd listen and be the very best she could be, and then she'd be okay in the end. Hopefully.

They arrived at a spot beside the river, and Resin stopped. Avantika took a step back as the woman lay down before her. She remained standing. Well, crouching, but that was basically like standing to her at this point. She smiled nervously as she spoke about the other pups. Bowen and Rudy, Rudy and Bowen. For some reason, she started thinking their names like a chant. Or maybe more like a prayer. She didn't know any gods or had even heard about the concept of them in general, but whatever void people cast her wishes into had to have listened to her once, or she wouldn't be here. Not that she had specifically wished to leave the palace caves, but the point was there. If she could stay, it would be the closest thing to blissful heaven she could know. Oh, how she wanted to stay!

She wondered what Resin meant by talking about how the others liked her. And asking her if she liked being called "Tika"? That seemed to imply that she would see her again. Otherwise, why would she care what to call her? Her heart thumped. Don't get your hopes up, she warned herself. The air could still turn. Nothing really lasted, and nothing was perfect. That was just life, so she couldn't be happy until everything was decided. And if she had to leave, she'd figure out something to do then too. She'd be fine as long as she remained cold and impassive.

While it had seemed like hours of pondering in her mind, there wasn't more than a few seconds pause between Resin's question and her reply, a quiet "Sure," that was as achingly neutral as an agreement could be. She liked being called that nickname mostly because the other kids called her that. Bowen had even said that nicknames meant two people were friends. Was Resin a friend? She seemed too old and strange for that. Avantika didn't think she was bad, exactly. But didn't friends have to trust each other? She trusted no one really, yet, so definitely not someone who could break her neck with one snap of her jaws. Maybe she should be her friend, just to make sure she'd like her. Although that was more like a fake friend. Was that okay?

The woman looked away from her, and the ocean-eyed foundling almost sighed in relief. That one eye was strong. It felt like gazing at the sun sometimes when she looked at her.

Resin kept talking. Most of it wasn't too easy to decipher, but she garnered the meaning in a way that at least looked right. The word "bad" tugged her off track, and down to times when she'd heard that word before, pointed like a knife straight at her. She shivered from more than the chill then. But it wasn't about her now. From what she heard, bad was other things. Things that had happened to her. She stood in silence, thinking about that. It was bad. It made her feel bad. She was scared all the time there. More scared than she was now. She was hungry and thirsty and bored out of her mind and a million other things like that even when she had a break from being really terrified. Yes, it was bad. She didn't want to think about it, even though she wasn't there anymore. Maybe she'd never know how she'd ended up so far away from the palace, but she was grateful that she had. Grateful like she hadn't ever been before. So grateful she wanted to howl it from the highest rock in the world, just so everyone knew. Soul grateful.

Maybe that was why it was so crushing to think about leaving the one sanctuary she'd ever known.

When Resin looked back at her with that bright yellow eye, she tensed, and her nerves spiked again. Then she spoke, and Avantika's mouth gaped in amazement. If you wish to stay here. It was true! She wanted to scream, or dance, or run right into the woman and never leave her side. She would repay her for eternity if she had to. The Hallows, her--she could barely even think it--new home. It couldn't be perfect, nothing ever could be, but it was the closest thing she'd ever get. It was hers. Resin and Bowen and Rudy, Rudy and Bowen and Resin. Everyone she hadn't met yet, other than scents and little cameos in her vision. All of it. All of them. She would never give them up. She couldn't imagine ever wanting to. This was all she needed. Love and affection and joy. She would return the favor with everything in her.

She realized she'd forgotten to reply. Eyes shining with stars and elation, and her body not cringing anymore but standing as confidently as anyone could and telegraphing her happiness in every little detail, she spoke. "I want to stay. With all." Even her language troubles couldn't sour the moment for her. She still could barely take it in.

She was home.

"speak"

Word count: 1,127

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