In your head, they are dying

Casso didn't look up when Yurei began to move, only his ears following her and tracking her movement as she came to sit in front of him. He kept his two toned eyes fixed on the floor in front of him, gritting his teeth against the panic that was threatening to grip him. He had become familiar with that feeling over the last couple of years and it felt as if his toes were right on the edge of that mental cliff where at any moment he might topple over the edge into the dark abyss or he might still be able to step back from the edge. If his life had gone differently, if he hadn't ended up with Yurei, he had no doubt that he would have given into that panic. However, he had been lucky enough to have his mate here with him and as soon as her forelegs came up to wrap around him and pull his head to her chest he knew he had made the right decision to come back home instead of stopping to sleep anywhere despite how body breakingly tired he was.

Her comfort and affection finally broke him, sending him stumbling back from that mental ledge and making him crumble into her embrace. He leaned heavily into her and wrapped one of his forelegs around her as well, holding onto her as if his life might depend on it - and at this point it very well might. All of that built up, pent up sorrow, anger, and guilt came rushing forward all at once and hit him like a bolder. He kept his face pressed into her chest to hide his tears from her despite the fact that his sobs shook his shoulders and she would no doubt feel those tears dampening her fur. There was no hiding those tears completely, but his pride kept him from looking at her directly while he let all of those emotions run rampant.

It took a bit of time, but eventually he was able to pull himself together. Those tears faded away and slowly he was able to breathe calmly again. There was still so much pain and loss to sort through, but the worst of it was calmed for now. Casso lifted his head to let his eyes find Yurei's again, trying to ignore how dry and sore his eyes felt from crying. He brought a paw to her cheek and gently caressed her face before leaving a soft kiss on her muzzle. There was something else lingering on his mind and if he hadn't been sure of his decision before he most certainly was now. "The reason I left for a couple of days was to do some thinking on what we had talked about before... about having our own family one day," he admitted, speaking in a soft, hoarse rumble. "I was so unsure about what I might pass on to our children and so afraid of seeing them suffer the way I have. I still wasn't sure when I was on my way home, but... Then I found Nolan's body... It just reminded me how easily and quickly things can change. How unexpectedly things can end..." He gave her another gentle kiss, his eyes searching hers. "I'm sure now. I don't want to miss any chances or opportunities with you. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready to start a family with you, my mate."

Walk | "Talk" | think