What I Want
Sibyl - Fall Seasonal
12-29-2020, 08:23 PM
There it was... that inevitable question that always followed a piece of catastrophic news. Why. The why was always so important, and yet, so meaningless all the same. What did it matter why he had done what he had? The actions were done, the fires burned out, the bodies buried... What difference would it make to know the motives behind the anger, the bloodshed, the murder? He almost wanted to turn that question back on her, but Azriel recognized it was a defense mechanism. If he did that, Sibyl would clam up, probably apologize and never bring it up again. She didn't deserve to be treated like that, especially not when he had been the one to open this door for her. He couldn't in good conscience close it in her face immediately. Chest rising with a deep breath, only to deflate with a heavy sigh, he motioned with a flick of his head and a grunt for Sibyl to follow his lead, turning off their path to face the river and sitting on the crisp grass and leaves littering the bank. If they were going to have this conversation, it was going to take some time; might as well get comfortable. While he waited for Sibyl to get comfy beside him, Azriel just stared out at the river, silver-grey eyes distant and lost in the haze of memories of days long gone.
Why had he destroyed his birth pack? That was such a heavy, loaded question, she had no idea, and he told her as such. "That's a more complicated question than you can imagine..." he tried to explain, not purposely trying to be vague, but also unsure of how to proceed. She knew what kind of a wolf he was, the dark crimes he dabbled in, but this... This was genocide they were speaking of. "The leaders of my birth pack committed unforgivable crimes against my family, and to every wolf like me, just because they could. I never knew until I was older, and by that point, they were beyond forgiveness. All of them were beyond forgiveness... because every single one of them just went along with it, like good little wolves..." He spat those last few words out like they were venom. Azriel tightened his jaw, grinding teeth together while he remembered the rage he had felt that day he'd made the haunting discovery that he hadn't been an only child like his parents had told him. He remembered the looks in all their eyes while he brought ruin to their homes and their lives. He remembered the taste of Elias' blood in his mouth and the boy's pathetic, desperate cries for mercy. Azriel's claws ripped at the grass underneath his paws.
"Packs are designed to benefit those at the top while those at the bottom labor and suffer for scraps to survive on..." muttered a bitter Azriel. "That's why none of them are worth sparing. They only take and take and leave damage in their wake..." He thought about himself, of Sibyl, and of Fel. None of them had been happy while part of a pack. Why would any wolf willingly choose to let themselves become pawns of someone else? To be used and discarded when they were drained dry? Fuck that. That was not a game he would play. He'd break the board and destroy the pieces. Never again.
"Speech" | Thoughts