I've Been There Before

*Aranea* · 01-03-2021, 03:27 PM

The feeling of guilt wasn't exactly clear to her and it was a lot easier to say it as her fault then think or explain why. "Tyranis..." She'd trail as she looked away from Allegro for only a couple seconds before grabbing his gaze again, "I shouldn't have trusted him. He took Rain away from me in the middle of the night. Abandoned his pack and me and Nuada." She felt like she should have heard him leave the den especially while taking their son. She may not have been able to stop him physically but she would have honestly died trying. At least took Nuada and followed him if anything. "I was... not mentally well when he never came back. I think Nuada left the den on her own and I never saw her again." The uncertainty of what happened to Nuada was a big factor of what plagued her mind. Well, she couldn't be sure what happened to either of them or Tyranis.

Her gaze returned back to their children off in the plains, "I should have been there for her. I should have been there for both of them." Little did she know that her neglect had made Nuada to leave and survive on her own, but also Rain had become distorted from his father's brutal expectations. And she may not ever know the truth of how her first litter of children felt about her. Sure their disappearance would have been alarming for any parent, but she truly believed that they had died. She hadn't heard of Tyranis at all in the last five years, and she felt that since she hadn't run into either of the children up to now, there was no way they had survived. It was probably a long shot of an option but she had traveled a lot in those many years, not that Allegro was entirely aware. But anything he could have said to reassure her probably wouldn't have been taken seriously and Aranea would still see herself as garbage at least for the half of her life she would have rather forgotten.

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