The Culling

Toxicity · 01-05-2021, 07:21 PM

Toxicity had been dreading this moment since she realized the flaw in her littlest pup. Upon seeing it, she had some thoughts about how small it was, how it could never eat enough, how its siblings were far outgrowing it. It was obvious this pup was one of the weaker ones. It didn't match up with the rest of them. She tried to nurse it more, moving the others aside. She had Obi help her eat a better diet to help fuel the pup's growth, but nothing was working. Then the seizures started. Toxicity wasn't sure what was happening, but Obi explained. He told her the pup might be able to live a life, or it might not. The other pups would push this one aside and Toxicity would awake to it laying some ways away, not cold thanks to the warmed floors, but chillier than it should have been. It became apparent Toxicity wouldn't be able to focus on her other pups for as long as she cared for this one.

It became obvious this was one of the weaker specimens that would need to be culled. She denied it for some time, asking Obi for his advice. She couldn't bear such a weak pup dragging down its siblings or the pack. The seizures only solidified her concern. Toxicity prayed over it for hours standing out in the shrine waters. When she returned, her pup had another seizure shortly after. She had her answer.

The chilly evening was just beginning and Toxicity had Obi make sure her path was clear. She cleaned the pup thoroughly and let it eat until its stomach was swollen and fat. After, she and Obi prayed over that its soul would rejoin Abraxas. She wrapped it in a soft fur and carried it far outside the pack. The chill set in and Toxicity knew that it would soon enough embrace the young pup and lull it into an endless sleep. She came to a nook in a tree where she placed the young pup. She hid it just enough that the cold should take it before any predators. The risk of having it inside the pack was too high, the same risk with spilling its blood within the pack lands. She would let the cold take it, and come out later to bury it.

With the pup secure in its spot, Toxicity prayed before turning and went back to the den where she wept bitterly. She tried to keep objective about it. She had four healthy, living, viable pups- worthy vessels for God- so why was she feeling so hurt over this one? They were young yet- they barely had personality or reason. It wasn't abnormal to lose one at this state, but this was a choice she knew she had to make. Obi helped to clean her den and to scrub every nook to take away the pup's scent. Incense was lit and the shrine was purged from the weakness. She felt so sick- weak. Obi dismissed himself to go and assure the pup passed in one piece. When he returned, it was well into the next morning and Toxicity had cried herself into a deep and dreamless sleep. Obi reported that shortly after the pup had breathed its last, a great owl descended from the sky and scooped it up. Toxicity had no reason to think he would lie to her and he- perhaps for the first time in his life- used that to his advantage. After that morning, they both swore to never talk about it again and both were glad to have the idea dropped.

Toxicity tried to take this as a test from Abraxas. She had to throw out her mortal feelings once again. She couldn't allow feelings to linger when she had other things to focus on, but her cheeks remained dampened from her tears for many days on end. By the time her cheeks were dry again, her pups were just starting to come to sentience.

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