Before I lose my mind

*Plague* · 01-13-2021, 01:12 PM

Plague wished that it was easy to explain what was going on in his mind. Logically he knew that it really was just as simple as coming out and saying it, but the possible repercussions of that truth held him back. He selfishly wanted everything. He wanted to be able to love who he wanted to love unapologetically and still feel like he was able to be the wolf he was born to be. He wanted to hold on to that power that being part of this family meant and help his sister rise to the glory that he knew she could attain, but the fear of how they might view him once the truth came to light and his short comings revealed themselves then he may no longer seen the same in their eyes.

He gave a small, solemn nod when Venom replied that she did still believe their father's teachings. He was curious to know what she meant by "for the most part" and wondered what sort of doubts she might have, but he wouldn't ask. The fact that he was questioning them as much as he was already made him feel like a heretic against his family - he didn't want to cause any more doubt or confusion in his sister as well. It was enough to have one of them that had fallen away from the path without them both suffering the same fate.

"Which one... what about them has you worried?" That was really the question, wasn't it? The question that he didn't know how to answer and wasn't sure he wanted to. "Most of them," he answered quietly after a heavy moment of silence, his ears folding back against his skull though his face continued to hold that carefully crafted, stoic expression that he hid everything behind. A soft sigh passed his lips and he pushed the armor away to force himself to look away from the distraction. "I... I guess the most concerning part... He always put so much emphasis on having children. What if... What if the wolf I love can't bare children? Does that mean I've failed?" His expression finally cracked, his brows pulling together with concern and a frown pulling at his lips.

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