The Scarred and The Royal

Once upon a time winter brought ceaseless joys. It was a time of life and death. A brief moment of calm before the beauty of rebirth or at-least that was what she used to think. Nowadays if someone asked her what she thought of winter she would have responded very differently. Winter was a time of loneliness and remembrance which she spent grieving a life that no longer existed. A time when she had everything she could have desired and more. It was not much, not for a woman of ambition, but for a woman in love? Well, being in love was more filling than anything she ever knew. Often, she had company to divert her mind from sinking to such depths but today she felt hopelessly alone. Nox grieved as any mother who knew loss did, but a hundred times over for each child. These wounds were slow to heal and sometimes she wondered if they ever would. Or maybe she did not desire for them to heal completely because she feared forgetting those she lost in the first place.

Whatever future these new lands held, she hoped it was kinder than the past. On pale, colorless days like this one, she sought solitude. The last thing Nox wanted was to worry those that cared about her. Lupa had tolerated enough and she would not risk picking at his wounds by showcasing her own. Instead, she looked for things that reminded her of her children. There was little that she had to remember her eldest by. He strayed from a young age, and few moments with him were truly precious. At the very least she had those first few glimpses of true innocence when he was still very small. Back when he would cling to her for reassurance as any young child did when first discovering the world.

When she wished to remember Eclipsie, she looked for the waning moon surrounded by a sky full of stars. There was nothing else that could subdue those final moments in which she watched her daughter turn away for what she hoped was not the last time. Astraea was by far the easiest to find mementos of. Rarely did she stray as a child, preferring much to root in the dirt or make crowns out of wildflowers. When she wanted to remember her kind-hearted little girl, she simply needed to look around and admire the things that already there. It was a little more difficult in the winter when the beauty of nature faded, but even still she found a way. When she could not think of Diaval without becoming depressed or find a sky full of beautiful stars, there was always a piece of Astraea hidden somewhere.

Today she found a little slice of home far into the past. The place was not tucked out of sight or very far from where she settled. It was a strange place outside the castle walls and slightly northeast from the shore. It was surrounded by a stone barricade that time and mother-nature worked effortlessly to tear down. What remained was nothing more than a temporary diversion which she crossed in a single stride. Inside was what appeared to be nothing more than a patch of overgrown weeds and frost-bitten tubers. Ice crystals and snow clung to every leaf and stem, but it could not subdue the mini-ecosystem within. A keen nose would be able to find its hidden potential without ever setting eyes on the grounds. There were many scents she was too inexperienced to describe or pinpoint a specific source to. However, she did recognize that of thyme, lemon balm, and mint. Upon closer inspection, the true nature of the space was revealed. A once cultivated set of plots turned wild, threatening to escape its stone encampment and likely already had. Any stranger with a vague knowledge of herbalism could guess it was likely used to grow herbs and maybe even other bounties. It was not at its full potential in the winter, but she could only imagine how magnificent it looked in spring.

Astraea would have been utterly fascinated. Nox could just imagine the look of awe in her beautiful golden eyes. She entertained for a moment that Astraea might have even passed through such a place in her tour of the world. There was so much wonder and love for life in that child… Well… As much as it pained her to think about it, none of her offspring were ‘children’ anymore. She had likely already missed that important transition from adolescent to adult. That very thought made a pain wedge between her ribcage. A sensation that she would describe as a sharp thorn being slowly pushed between two ribs, right where her heart was. Growing up was an inevitable part of having children but never did she imagine them enduring it alone.

The ground gave with every step as she entered the stone-garden. Eventually, her paws found something solid beneath the snow, bits of pathway swallowed up by vegetation. Amber eyes tarnished with melancholy swept across the ruins. She was not sure what she hoped to find there. A sign, maybe, that her daughter had been there before. And she did indeed find a sign, but not what she hoped for. There sprouted in the cracks of a split paver, was a flower. Frost adorned each of its white petals and even with clouds ahead, it sparkled brilliantly. Nox stepped forward but instead of plucking the flower, she reached down and tenderly caressed its petals. She knew little about flowers but that flower, in particular, was special or rather what it represented was. It was a snowdrop, a symbol of purity, sympathy, and hope. Snowdrops usually did not appear so early in the season, but that one blossomed on its own accord… much like her Astraea.

Nox felt a brief moment of happiness and then, something attuned to a rock wedged in her throat. Nox did her best to swallow, eyes stinging harshly as she tried to force her emotions down. A soft strained whimper managed to slip past tightened lips. She stood there, weakened as grief welled up in a desperate escape from within. Where there was weakness to be found, there was a predator lying in wait not far. "You look lost. Little Dove." Nox inhaled sharply, liquid forcibly sucked into the back of her throat. She did not turn around and instead cast a furious glare over her shoulder. Trouble had a way of showing up when one least expected it.

“If doves had sharp-teeth and a tendency to bite unwelcome visitors” Nox retorted bitterly, voice heated by the flames of irritation despite the cold. “-then yes, I am a dove.” She observed him from a distance with distrust and scrutiny. There was not much she could make out from the corner of her eye. He was around the same size as she, maybe slightly bigger. Other than that, he was a blurry dark-mess and she dared not turn with tears in her eyes. After a few seconds, she forced her voice to soften. “Is there something you need, stranger?” What else could a man want other than a piece of ass or something smaller than himself to snuff the light out of to feel strong. He would not find pleasure nor an easy target there. Cornered animals tended to bare their teeth, but she was no beast. No, he would find an equal amount of danger in a woman's wit, as well as her bite.