Hey! No more!

No, no. He didn't want Hika to see him, to see this. He stared dumbly at his friend as he came to him. No hesitation, no doubt. Just the need to protect Mortis. The shame rose again, the wave rushing through him with the sensation of nausea. He closed his eyes briefly, wishing he could curl up on the sand, and all this would just disappear. Why did he feel everything so keenly? He always had. From the baby bird when he had first explored beyond his parents den, to Azures betrayal. He felt it all so strongly, like zaps through his vains. He remembered his mother finding him on the cliff, a breath away from stepping off. He had wondered if he would fly, but he had always known he would only crash.

Mals disappearance had shocked him. He had been at first desperate, and then listless. The certainty of her absence setting in. Now Hanako. He has always known they would repair their friendship. They had to, right? They had been so good together. The cold indifference had shocked away the glittery dream and shown the truth. He meant nothing to her now. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

He though of that cliff again, a strange, longing ache in his breast. It was all too sharp. It would only take a step, just a step, and all that ailed him would be gone. He trembled, oh how he trembled. His jaw twitching, and he refused to look at Hika. The white wolf had ruined it. If his friend had not come, he might have been able to take the cliff. Now, no doubt, if he raised his eyes, Hika would see it in him. He couldn't do that to Hika. He could not.

Instead, eyes lowered, he ignored the question. His voice, soft, husky, and damaged. Litless with the hollow ache inside of him asked. "If I left, would you come with me? Would you give up this home you'd finally found?"