A Feast of Thanks

He watched how the different wolves interacted between each other. He kept his distance, observing , contemplating from the place he was sitting. He knew deep inside he wanted to talk but he just didnt know how to approach, how to begin. He couldn't remember when was the last time he ever felt happy, when he ever have fun. He never did at all, just having himself as the company, as the sibling he never had, as the family he never had. He could only trust in himself, and the rest of him could all betray him, or dont appreciate him. But why was he soo mattered with that? That shouldn't matter, he shouldn't care about what others did or not with him, what others said or not. He knew who he was, and until now he was a survivor, he survived until this day and it was because of his own will, of his own desire to live past the adevsirties he found in the start of his life. His mother departure long ago stopped being a matter, a topic to remember.

Resin spoke, he paid attention from his spot in the head of one of the tables. Looking and listening without intentions of coming any closer.

"Not only is this a feast of thanks, but it's a feast of family. Family is important and it's not always by blood, but by choice."  He looked at her but keeping a cold expression, the word family didnt exists, it didnt have a meaning. Why would it be? He'd never had a family, someone to call mom, dad, or whatever.

"Artorias, Daphne, Gwynevere, Bowen, Rudyard, Grimshaw and Avantika... I grant you the surname Carpathius."

There, in that right moment the cold-hearted of Dunkan felt it, he felt it. He felt how something inside him made crack, how something started to break apart. Those words came like a bucket of icy cold water over him, feeling how a sharp pain took over his heart. What was this feeling? This sensation or...loneliness? He felt how a knot formed in his throat, blocking any word from escaping.

He came to Resin's paws when he was a pup, he remembered when he lived with her as her pupil but at some pint he considered a mother, and still, he did. But he knew she did not saw him as such. As the family, he saw her as. So here and now that was confirmed. For her she was nothing, he couldn't help but feel pain, yes a sensation he felt years ago when he was a kid. He didnt knows how to react, how to act upon such pain, such feeling of just being someone who should he ever leave this world no one would care. But he didnt let those devouring feelings to taint his face which remained cold but deep inside he wanted to cry... 'Cry? Me? No, that's of a weakling. I am not, I am not weak..' There he felt his lip pull up in a rage, in frustration but no one but himself alone.

'Fuck.' He needed to leave, to leave before he couldn't control himself, he didnt want to show weakness, to show stupidity. He just felt like his walks craked down in a stumble. There he looked down to his paws, feeling everything around him disappear as his mind consumed every single drop of his strength, feeling alone. Feeling like if no one out of his now heart involved in a tempest.

'Family.. family is for the weak, for no use...no use...i dont need it...I dont need anything...no one...' He felt how everything cracked, how his mind went to blank, to the who knows where land. He needed to get out, to hide before this weak reaction of his was discovered. He was a warrior no a cry baby. All would be fine right? Everything was always all good for him, he was fine...yes he was...

He closed his eyes shut feeling everything get lost around him. Wasnt he, was ever he good enough for Resin? Did he was too weak for her? Was he too unworthy of never been seen as more than her apprentice? Did he mattered?.. He felt how in a quick second his eyes felt wet. "Fuck..." He muttered as calmly and trying not to call the attention of the rest he walked away, in silence trying to perhaps say he wanted to patrol. Yes, that should be fine.

Exit unless stopped-


"Speech!" 'Thoughts'

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