Rest your brain

The past week of being in Ashen had felt a bit like a dream that Kiyo didn’t want to wake up from. Her son was alive, she’d gotten herself a beautiful and intelligent daughter-in-law, and she was going to be a grandmother! She felt invigorated, on top of the world even. The woman wondered what the little ones would be like, raised so far away from their ancestral homelands. Before she could have told you exactly the road that they’d take, what they’d go through and how much it would kill her inside to see it happen. But now...now there were so many new possibilities for them. They could grow up free and happy, able to do whatever they wanted (within reason) whenever they wanted. Sure, they would still be heirs and heiresses but in Ashen, she knew they would be individuals first and foremost.

The former Iga matriarch had spent many nights lying awake thinking about what she’d teach them, what stories she’d tell them, what games they could play, and in the cold of the darkness she could feel slivers of sadness creeping up on her. Oh, she wasn’t a worthy mother or grandmother. Where had these emotions been when she’d been raising Hanzo? Of course, she knew where. Squished beneath the paws of her abusive husband. But even knowing that, she blamed herself. She had always blamed herself and would never stop blaming herself for the torment he’d had to go through alone, simply because of who his father was and how weak she was. Would she poison this batch with her presence like she’d been a poison to her son?

She needed a day away, a day to gather her thoughts and line them up in a row like ducks following their mother so they could be organized into ‘valid’ and ‘worry wort’. So, she’d asked Hanzo where the best place would be and he’d told her about the hot springs. How perfect! She loved hot springs. The woman had gathered a small bag of soaps and brushes then set off with Aki on her back, following the directions her son had given her well. It was a nice hop, skip and a jump away from Ashen, making it easy and quick to get to and the trip there had only taken her roughly thirty minutes. What she saw left a thrill. How beautiful! The hot spring cascaded like a waterfall into separate pools of varying sizes, the steam rising from their surfaces and the heat from the water met the chill of the air. Enclosed from the world by the thick line of trees, it felt like her own little haven.

She set her back down to the side and Aki hopped off of her back, setting to getting her things ready to use while Kiyo inspected the pools. She found that they were each of varying depths, some so deep she couldn’t see the bottom and some so shallow they only went just over her ankles. The woman knew that she wanted to lay down, so she found one that seemed to be just right. As she waded in she felt the chill melt from her bones like butter and a sigh escaped her jaws, settling down to her belly so the water rested up just over her shoulders. Already, she could feel her muscles relaxing and her silver gaze closed in bliss. She laid there, weightless, unthinking, for a good while until she began to feel a little light headed from the head, then she got out and laid on a fur that she’d brought along in her pack that Aki had laid out for her. The monkey went about massaging her mistress, pressing and kneading into her aching joints and muscles and Kiyo gave her an appreciative smile.

Aki had served her mother since she’d been a child and, when the woman had passed, she’d turned to serve Kiyo. Macaques lived to be significantly older than most normal wolves, ranging from twenty-two to twenty-seven years. Aki was 16, not young by any means but not quite ancient. She’d likely live to see even Kiyo’s death if she continued on her path and, if she saw fit, she’d probably go on to serve whichever of her grandchildren she chose until she met her end. It was reasonable to say that the silver woman had practically been raised by the Macaque and she had always seen her as a second mother figure, a deep bond that had literally been formed over a lifetime keeping them close knit. There wasn’t anything about Kiyo that Aki didn’t know.

After a few moments, she moved back into the hot springs and her companion went with her, carrying some lavender soap in her paw. Instead of laying, the woman chose to sit, her eyes closing once more as she was lathered and cleaned, the smell of the fragrant herb trickling into the air and making her feel drowsy. As she sat, she thought. She thought about her future, her son’s future, her grandchildren’s futures. She thought about her and her son’s past and fretted at the thought of Hideki finding her location and following her back to Hanzo. But, most of all she thought about how lucky she was to have made it this far. So many times she could have died, by her own paws or her husband’s, but she’d managed to slip through the cracks. It was a well-strategized miracle that she was where she was, and she chose to hold onto that thought instead of the negatives.

Once she was rinsed, Kiyo climbed out of the hot springs again and laid down for Aki to brush her long, silky pelt. She gently combed through the knots, a hum escaping her lips and the woman felt herself slipping off into sleep as relaxation took her. She’d sleep for a few hours until she was gently awakened by Aki, who’d prompt her to return to Ashen. It had been a good trip, a trip she sorely needed. After all, didn’t everyone need a good mental health day?