What's the prognosis, doc?

As seemed to be a running theme with his conversations with Aranea, she offered him a different perspective - one that wasn't so skewed with grief, frustration, and helplessness. His gaze followed her as she went to get another item for her treatment, following the silent instructions to remain where he was. Even if in this moment if felt impossible that she could be right about Ezra one day understanding his actions, he did hope she was right. He was trying. If all his children remembered from this time was that he was trying to be there for them then that's all he could really hope for at this point. It felt like he was never doing enough for them and it made him wonder what was actually enough or what that actually meant. When he was the only one setting the standard for himself then it always felt impossible to reach.

As her gaze met his once more and he listened to what she said about his importance being there along side the importance of his children, Ulric couldn't keep the doubt from creasing his brow. He gave a small shake of his head, though he didn't pull his gaze away from hers. "No... No, I'm not," he replied quietly with another shake of his head. He couldn't explain why every other wolf around him took such high importance in his mind and his own well being was an after thought as best, but that was the order of things that made sense in his mind. He had been a caregiver from such an early age that caring for others and protecting others was all that he knew. "Every time I've ever done something for myself... everything just goes wrong."

He confronted his sister about how she's caring for her children out of concern for his niece and it starts a fight that ends with them both scarred and their relationship beyond strained. He left his mother and niece with his sister to go strike out on his own only to have his sister abandon them and force him to start caring for them again. He convinced Azariah to join The Hallows with him so that he could learn from Resin which caused him to be pulled away from her more and more with the duties he had to complete for the pack. The same move to The Hallows caused him to leave his aging mother alone and she passed away without him. He went on ahead to Auster with the pack to make sure the move went smoothly and then Azariah goes missing. He indulged his desires with Aranea and then what little relationship he had with Ezra was shattered. There was a pattern there that he couldn't ignore.

Ulric pulled his gaze away from hers and looked down at her paws, his ears folding back against his head. "I... I don't want to be important... I've always wanted to lead a pack, but not for the glory or the power... I just wanted somewhere to keep my family together in one place to make sure they were safe. So then maybe I'd... Maybe I'd stop losing them and failing them." The more he spoke the more strained his voice became before he finally gave up on speaking around the tight lump in his throat. His jaw tightened with frustration at his own situation that he couldn't control - something he tried so desperately to fix only to fail again and again.

Walk | "Talk" | think