Is love still on the table
Void <3
03-09-2021, 07:52 PM
Plague tried his hardest to hold back the palpable sadness he felt at the thought of Void having to leave him again. He didn't want to let that emotion come to the surface since he knew that it was already going to be hard enough on the both of them without him admitting his own disappointment. He'd rather put on a brave facade for Void to make his departure a bit easier on him, no matter how difficult it was. However, that mask he wore threatened to crack when heard Void tell him that he didn't want to leave, the words muttered into his fur breaking his heart. He leaned into the touch for a moment with a soft sigh. "I know. I don't either," he admitted quietly, doing his best to keep some sort of soft, sad smile on his lips. The request that Void made was one that Plague had considered more times than he could count. Every time Void crossed his mind in their time apart he tried to figure out how he could pull himself away in order to join him on his search. Every fiber of his being wanted to be at the monochrome man's side and to deny both of them that presence felt so wrong. He just couldn't find a way to separate himself from his family, much in the same way Void was dedicated to seeing this mission out for his. Plague whined softly as he wrestled between the two sides of himself, pressing his face into speckled fur while he contended with the fact that he was going to have to tell Void no. He didn't want to deny the one he loved something that was so fundamental and necessary to each of their happiness. He thought about his sister with her new born pups, he thought about the position that he was preparing himself to challenge for, he thought about the harsh weather that Ashen was having to survive through, all of the resources that they were having to hunt for harder and harder... And still couldn't bring himself to tell Void any of these excuses for why he couldn't go with him. A spark of frustrated anger lit in his gut, but not at Void or either of their families or anyone in particular - just at the situation as a whole. He wanted to be in too many places at once and he was tired of constantly sacrificing time with Void in favor of supporting his family and pack. The pale man lifted his head from Void's neck, his emerald eyes finding the mixed tones of Void's. He realized that in all of the time that they had found bits of time together here and there, they had never spent a full day together, had never slept in the same den, had never shared a meal... He was fed up with missing out on these moments with him. Yes, he loved the Destruction man more than he could describe, but what was it like to live with him? To truly be at his side supporting him? He didn't know. "I can't leave Ashen for a long time... but... I could spare a few days... maybe even a week," he offered, knowing that was hardly sufficient for what they truly wanted, but it was better than nothing at all. It would give him a chance to finally meet Void's siblings, finally get a chance to live out some of the things they constantly missed out on. He smiled softly, a flutter of excitement replacing that frustration. He brushed his muzzle against Void's and asked, "Would that make you happy, my love?" |
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