The Wounded Heart Within

*Aranea* · 03-24-2021, 11:31 AM

Ulric's affection was more than what she could have wanted. She couldn't even describe the feeling. She almost wanted to believe that she loved Ulric, and maybe she did. But her concept of how to love someone was clouded judgement by what she wanted more. And she would be scared to even say such a thing. Whether it was because she would scare Ulric away or she would hurt him while she was faced with Allegro. She had come to terms with how she was going to hurt someone either way, but that didn't make it any easier to do so.

It was obvious that Ulric didn't have much to say, or didn't want to say much at least. It was a difficult situation that really Aranea could really know or understand because it was what happened to her. And she wouldn't be angry that Ulric couldn't do more. He could only do so much, and right now just being here in his arms was enough.

Her eyes did come up to search his own, she wasn't crying anymore but the tear marks if even noticed through the dark room were still there. "I was young, Ulric. I was barely two years old. I didn't know what I was doing." She continued without expecting him to even say anything back to her. Maybe she just felt like he needed to know her, or at least what ailed her in a lot of things. She was a lot stronger now than she had ever been, but it was easy for her to slip down the spiral of depression, and there was no way she could really hide her strong, sad feelings from Ulric at times. "I thought he was the one. I would have done anything for him." And it was true. She left Abaven for him, she was ready to abort their pups for him, and she birthed their pups for him. "I don't know why he left me and I don't think I ever will." That was a feeling they could share, while Azariah was either dead or had abandoned Ulric. And the question would always be there if she never returned. And thinking about how Azariah was affecting their children made Aranea think about how she was affecting her own. As much as she tried to bury the thought.

She would go to pull herself into Ulric more, even though it didn't even seem possible. But it was almost like there was no amount of love or affection that could fill the void left in her permanently. "He broke me."

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