Beating heart of stone

*Aranea* · 03-29-2021, 12:09 AM

Him thinking that she wanted to live in Abaven with him and their children was not a fairy tale, no matter how much he was going to convince himself that it would never happen. Maybe it was true that it wasn’t, but that was never her intention. Her own betrayal made her crave what she did, more than she loved her children. And it was devastating to her that she let this happen and made him feel this way. What she was doing was just as bad as Tyranis leaving her, if not worse. But a part of her almost wanted to say that she never told Allegro they were steady, they hadn’t declared themselves mates or prepared for a marriage. But she wouldn’t speak of word of it, there was no sense in beating a dead horse.

He loved her... not a thought, he had. Even if it was past tense or what, Aranea’s own heart shriveled to the thought. She wanted to tell him she did too, now or before. She wanted to say anything to turn him around, but what would that do? Wouldn’t she just end up back with Ulric and put another bullet in Allegro’s head? Or maybe not even Ulric, someone else? She didn’t want to give him any more false hope because she didn’t know what would happen next. For her, for Allegro. She wanted to just back it up and make it so he wouldn’t find out, but not so she could undo what happened.

Her paw curled around his forearm trying to pull him in to her, not that there was any success in doing so. "I said I’m not right. I should have seen this coming long before all of this. Doing this to you was never my intent. And I can’t even tell you how sorry I am." As much as she didn’t want to blame herself, she knew she had to. Even as Allegro may have refused to believe that, if he had been closer he could have prevented her from being with another man. He couldn’t have. "There was another man, before you. I wasn’t even sure the pups were yours. Had it not been for Balthier..." Was she making it worse? She didn’t know. But she was trying to explain to Allegro, wanting to beat into his head that he wasn’t to blame. Not that she would open up to Ulric in this way.

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