my shallow heart

Indigo didn’t really know what he wanted beyond that which he could not have. That fact alone affected his life like little else had. The reason he was all the way in Auster when he should have been beside Aslatiel. He should have stayed in the Armada no matter how hard it felt, and now that he was here he tried not to regret his choices. Learn to put on a mask, enjoy what the world had to offer, always return to where his heart was kept.

So far he hadn’t done any of that. He’d failed miserably with Rue and she haunted his dreams. Cosette was sweet and so very dear to him, he felt protective over his young friend. She gave him a purpose again. Still he’d forgotten something, how to simply enjoy life instead of just surviving in it. Losing Rue affected him in ways he couldn’t even fully comprehend, but he hadn’t felt this at ease since before she died. Duchess possessed a special aura about her, maybe it reminded him a little of home. Of innocence, warmth, and comfort.

She wasn’t any perfect being though, not an angel nor fairy and as he turned the question back on her Duchess fumbled. Her demeanor changed, barely enough to be discernible but her voice broke too and Indigo could feel the strife beneath. A feeling that echoed deep in the yearling boy. Indy stopped walking so he could concentrate more fully on her delicate features. For a brief moment he wondered why he seemed to attract orphans. Not that he would have changed anything, meeting these wolves helped him appreciate what he had. Each played their part in shaping who he was. Did Duchess have a bigger role to play than a simple walk with a stranger?

”You can stick with me.” He offered softly, already ideas were swimming around his head. He couldn’t keep bombarding his grandmother with the wolves he found. He wanted to take care of Duchess and Cosette, he could do so much better for them then he did for Rue. He was the son of a great Warlord, he knew he would never rule the Armada but he very well could form a Band. ”Only if you want. It’s nice to smile again.” He carefully confessed to her, they did just meet but Indigo didn’t take long to get attached. Sirius liked to show himself in very different ways in each of his boys.