Let's Be Real

*Tyto* · 04-03-2021, 01:16 PM

He listened quietly to what she had to say, though truthfully, he understood. She didn't know it yet, but he had tried to fight Ignis after she left, but had failed just like her and Acere before him. "My attitude? Sorry for not rolling over like everyone else I guess!" His ears flattened a bit, but still he kept his mouth shut. Lips pursing as he fought the urge to blurt out that he had tried to, but he was so sick of his constantly feeling like a failure that he just couldn't bring himself to say anything quiet yet. As she stalked away, putting more distance between them, he took a step forward and stopped himself. "I'm fine thanks for asking." He couldn't help but look at the ground for a moment, guilt eating away at him. He knew it wasn't all her fault that they weren't as close as he wished. And yet, despite all the wishing, he kept putting walls up left and right.

He supposed he could blame his mom and dad for that...and Theta didn't exactly help, either. The only thing that set him and Tsu apart from their hateful sister, was the fact that they were more driven compared to her.

She went on about Ignis and the pack, and honestly, he had to agree with her to some degree. Some members didn't mind the sudden change in leadership, while others like her, despised it. He was on the fence. On one hand, he was curious to see where Ignis would take them. On the other hand, he felt this new leadership would be disastrous. Not just because of the potential new changes, but the fact that the crimson alpha appeared...unstable as of late. Or maybe he'd always been that way and Ty just never noticed, he wasn't sure. "Family? What family? Our mother was a lying manipulative bitch that only ever saw us as pawns in her weird little war against our father, who as it turns out was a shitty king incapable of paying attention to his own kids for more than two seconds to run off and make more, our siblings didn't fall that far from the tree, our grandfather was a psychopath, his brother is a coward who reared a whole line of cowards and our cousin?" He had to agree with her for the most part, however, he couldn't on the last. "Tsu, I agree with you on most of that. But you're forgetting, Acere tried. He challenged Ignis and lost. Not just the fight, but he lost what he built, he lost his nephew, I'm sure he feels like he failed his children and his family, and the rest of the pack. And not only that, but he suffered a bad injury which I'm sure will leave him blind after that. You can be angry with him all you want, but at least he didn't just stand back and do nothing. Winter didn't do anything because she was afraid. She didn't know what she was doing which...I have to admit was her fault. She didn't want help to learn how to lead, and admittedly, our uncle should've taught her if not resumed leadership. Was he perfect? No. But no leader is. We all have our flaws, Tsu. And I admit my flaw was not paying more attention. Especially to you."

He looked at her. Regardless of how she felt, he hoped she'd try to understand. While he wasn't any good at showing his emotions or speaking about how he felt, he was trying. He tried to put himself in his uncle's shoes. Tried even now to put himself in his sisters shoes. But if there was anyone he could speak up to about his thoughts and feelings, it was her. So when she continued on about Ignis and how she felt about family, he fell silent. He understood where she was coming from. He didn't want that to be their legacy, either. But what was he supposed to do? Challenge Ignis for his throne and turn everything around? It was a tempting thought...but he didn't know if he was capable. He had constant self doubt even though he never showed it on the outside. But perhaps he was just being too hard on himself...?

"I..." he paused for a moment as he took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing. "Family isn't hatred to me. That's why I've stayed with you. Wherever you are, I want to be there. I...I tried to fight for your freedom after you left. But...I didn't win. I'm not as good as I thought, or maybe I'm just not experienced enough. If I could, I'd rip the crown right off of Ignis' head, but I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to do that. I know the way we grew up sucked. I hate our mother and father, and...well I've always hated Theta and her stupid attitude, but you and I have real reasons to be angry about what's happening. I understand, Tsu. Believe me, I do. I'd do anything for you, even though I feel we're not the closest brother and sister, I'd do anything for you. I'd give my life for you if it brought you happiness."

Slowly, he started to feel the doubt melt away the more he spoke. Realizing that he had been holding himself to a standard much too high for anyone. But for Tsu? He'd do anything. "What do you want me to do. I'm not asking. And especially not for just myself. But for what you stand for. What we should be standing for. Whatever it is, I want to help."

"Speak"

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Let's Be Real

Tsunami

Tyto