Losing Myself Piece By Piece

She had never felt this kind of panic. Not when her father or brother would attack her, not the night that her father had tried to put her within an inch of her life before sending her way, not when she had crossed paths with her brother again before she ran back to Armada for help. This was an all encompassing, heart wrenching, muscle seizing panic. It wasn't just the imminent threat of the injury Resin had given her or how Resin got up and continued to lumber toward her with vicious intention written across her expression and held in the snarl on her lips. It was the lack of recognition in her eye, it was how her mate was unresponsive as she tried to call out to her again. It was the gripping fear that something was wrong and she didn't know what to do or where to go. For the first time in a long time she felt completely helpless and she was terrified. She felt trapped as she felt the wall against her back, breathing hard as she stared down the woman that had at least at one point been the woman she loved.

"Resin! Resin, please!" she cried again, a sob catching in her throat as panic gave way to desperation. It was no use though. She saw Resin moving toward her with increasing speed and finally her own instinctual need for self preservation got her back on her feet and forced her to move. She scrambled back to her paws and managed to dodge and leap to the side just in time to escape Resin's attack, her paws slipping on the stone floor and sending her crashing to the ground again as soon as she landed. This time she didn't stop though, she struggled back to her feet and made a mad dash for the door. Every step felt like it took every ounce of energy she had and her body trembled uncontrollably against the deep rooted fear that she did her best to push past long enough to get to safety.

She fumbled with the door for a moment, but managed to get it open and she darted out of the room before turning just as quickly to slam the door shut behind her. As soon as she was out in the sharp, cold air of the space where there wasn't a fire to keep the space warm, it helped to clear her mind long enough for her to realize that their children's rooms were all around her. She couldn't let Resin get to them, not till she was sure this - whatever this was - had passed. Her mint gaze darted frantically around the space for a moment before she spotted one of the wooden swords that Artorias trained with leaned against a near by wall. Scrambling for it, she grabbed the wooden weapon and slid it through the door handle, the guard of the sword catching on the handle and keeping it from slipping all the way through and the blade of the weapon keeping the door from being able to be pulled open from the inside.

Tamsyn stood there staring at the blocked door now that she was able to blink the blood away from her right eye and managed to open it. The pain was beginning to creep back in from the wound that tore at the skin all around the right side of her face now that some of the adrenaline and shock was beginning to fade away, but she didn't really notice it. She crept closer to the door and sank to the floor beside it, leaning her shoulder into the wall beside the door frame, her distant, blank gaze still looking at the door handle she had just blocked to keep her mate locked inside. Without really realizing it, tears began to fall, and eventually her eyes closed as sobs shook her shoulders and she leaned her head against the wall as well as sorrow and loss wormed their way into her emotions. She still didn't know what to do and still didn't know how to react. Everything was too overwhelming for her to even begin to process.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue" | think