Losing Myself Piece By Piece

Each time Resin would shove at the door and try to force it open, Tamsyn would flinch, but she couldn't bring herself to get up to leave or get help. No matter how much pain she was in, no matter how terrified she was, she still couldn't bring herself to completely leave Resin here. Tears ran down her cheeks and began to wash away a bit of the blood on the right side of her face, though the saltiness of them only stung the open wounds around her eye more. Even if it was just a short span of time between when she barred the door closed to when things went silent within the room, it still felt as if each second took an hour. Resin's faint voice from the other side of the door, calling her name, made her jump and her eyes flew open, though her right eye ended up flickering closed again moments later to keep the still freely flowing blood from dripping into it. "Resin..." she said uncertainly at the plea for her to open the door, her ears folding back against her skull as indecision and terror continued to tear at her. She wanted to see her mate, she wanted to believe that now was all well, but she couldn't. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do it.

Before she could be tempted into wrestling free of her own fear, Artorias appeared at her side, but she couldn't look at him. Her mint gaze remained on the door that held Resin trapped behind it, her body trembling under the weight of her own emotions as she drew a shaky breath into her lungs. She barely heard anything her son was saying. Somewhere she pieced together his concern from bits and pieces and heard something about taking her to Gwyn to get help before she noticed how he was lifting her away from the wall that was currently keeping her from falling straight to the floor. It really wasn't until she attempted to stand on her paws that she realized just how bad off she was. Standing sent her head spinning and she had to lean heavily into Artorias' side just to keep from having her legs buckle under her. "But... But Resin..." she breathed, her ears flicking back as she tried to lean away from him and stop him from taking her anywhere, but it was hopeless. If she even tried such a thing she was just going to go crashing to the floor and then she'd be even harder for her son to move.

At some point she noticed Blue running up to her from down the hall, his blue gaze wide with horror and concern. If even her lemur was looking at her this way then how must she look? She couldn't imagine it. "Blue... Blue, go get Ulric..." she whispered hoarsely before they reached Gwynevere's room and the primate immediately took off into the darkness - for once not giving her any sass about following orders. Someone had to see to Resin and she couldn't do it. She had failed her mate, she had failed. Failed to help her, failed to keep to keep her safe from herself. Her mind went even more foggy by the time they actually walked into her daughter's room, barely able to hold up her head as blood loss and exhaustion firmly dug their claws into her. She stumbled over to the bed of furs in the middle of the room and fell down onto it, her one open eye staring out the open door while commotion and chaos continued around her. It felt like she was sitting still but the rest of the world was spinning around her.

She knew Gwyn was doing something to the wound on her face, but she couldn't really tell what and didn't respond to anything that was being said or told to her. All she could think about was the look Resin gave her as she stared her down, that hard, cold glare, that look as if she had no idea who she was... At some point Ulric appeared in the doorway, the same concern painting his expression that she saw on the faces of her children and companion. What did she look like? "Resin... Go... Go to... Resin..." she managed to the Adravendi man, watching as he disappeared into the darkness again. With someone set on taking care of her mate, Tamsyn was able to relax a bit, but that only allowed more tears to begin to flow, her eyes closing again as she blocked out the world and allowed the sobs to rack her body once again.


"Tamsyn" | "Blue"