Fighting my way out

Slowly, oh so slowly, her body was beginning to recuperate. It took a while for her to even have enough strength to walk around the castle for any length of time, but it came. It took a while for the wounds to begin scabbing over enough that Gwynevere didn't feel the need to layer on the herbal medicines so heavily, but it happened. Physically, she was on the mend. It allowed her to get away from the wing of the castle where her family lived and she began to float around the castle like a ghost, barely acknowledging anyone she happened to pass and ignoring the glances and stares that followed her. She didn't have it in her mentally to address any of it just yet. Not yet. Perhaps not for a long time.

She kept drifting toward the door that she knew would lead her down into the dungeons, but always forced herself away. Even when no one else was around, even if she thought she might be able to get down there without anyone catching her, she didn't. She kept trying to justify it to herself as not wanting to go against Resin's wishes and not wanting to break the decree that Ulric had given to the pack about not going into the dungeon, but she knew there was more than that. The more she stared at that door, the more she realized it. She was afraid. It was hard to determine what exactly she was afraid of out of the many, many possibilities, but she was. She hated that fear - she had spent a majority of her life running from it, and now it had returned.

Turning away from the door again, she walked out of the castle and into the courtyard, the cold air hitting her as she stood out in front of the main castle entrance. She tried to think back to how she had managed to pull herself up out of that hole the first time around, and the more she thought about it the more daunting it became. Recovering from what her family had done had taken months - maybe years. It had taken ages of travel on her own, learning how to fight form Sirius and Resin, climbing the ranks of the Armada, birthing her children... All of those things had helped her burry all of her pain down deep into her soul and seal it over so she never had to think about it again.

She grit her teeth and trudged off to find Sirius, clinging to any shred of determination she might be able to muster as she went to seek him out. Walking up to him, she lifted her head to fix him with a firm look - a look that just said that she needed this and to not question it. "Fight me," she told him simply. That had been her gateway before, perhaps it could be again.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"