Fighting my way out

Tamsyn's jaw tightened when he denied her request, telling her it wasn't a good idea, making that doubt creep in to the back of her mind again. It had been a long time since she had fought anyone and even longer since she fought Sirius. With Resin at the helm, she had easily fallen into the role of caregiver, the emotional one of the two of them for their children while Resin was the fighter and the protecter. Now... Now she worried that she would never be able to again. She had put in so much time and so much effort to work past her demons enough to be able to fight without flinching away and now...

Her ears folded back against her head as she started up at him, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "Sirius... Please, I need this," she whispered, doing her best to keep the pain out of her voice and ultimately failing. She knew she would lose. It was Sirius - of course she would. She had never won a fight against Sirius and certainly didn't expect to now while she was still healing and hardly in any real shape to fight. But that wasn't the point. The point was that she needed something that was in her control. A task or an activity that she could dictate, that was all her own. Everything else felt so out of control and she didn't feel like she had a say in any of it. She remembered when she used to fight and train and how powerful that had felt... She needed that. She needed to feel something other than pain and heartache and loss and confusion.

"Fight me," she repeated, though the determination in her expression had faded, desperation taking its place. It wasn't the fighting that she needed, it was just the chance to take herself back to a time when the hardest thing she had to do was learn how to set her defenses while Sirius was nudging her feet. She wanted to go back to a time when all she had to worry about was how the den she had built by the river ended up being on the whole opposite side of the pack lands from the training grounds. She swallowed again and bit back her emotions as she reached out and nudged his shoulder with her paw. "Fight me.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"