Which is the Voice that I was Meant to Hear?

My world has changed and so have I

I've learned to choose

And even learned to say goodbye



. . .


~Do I still remember the old ways?~ Champion wondered, looking at herself in the green-silver mirror of the lake.

She looked the same as she always had, but was that a lie? She was only two and a half years old, and yet her life seemed to be falling apart. Well no, not really. That is, in some ways it was, but the worse it got, the more she felt herself detaching from it. As Amenti's beta she had found a side of herself that was respectable and militant and obeidiant to a fault. It was the soldier within her. And yes it had been satisfying to carry out her duties and be a part of something larger... but then it had all toppled. Seemed the higher someone dreamed, the easier it was for the tides to bring it crashing all down. Castles in the sand.

She had never cared about herself when it came to the future and danger. Champion saw life as a thing to be lived to the limit and beyond. But you couldn't live like that when you were worrying about other people. When you had friends with lives and families and a kingdoms on a hill. Oh what was the matter with her? She never felt conflicted! That was what she had always loved about herself was that she could always trust her instincts! She followed the voice inside and it led her on explorations and story book adventures and so far she had always come out the same as ever - if anything, stronger.

But now?

Now she didn't know what to do. She hadn't seen Newt in, weeks, maybe even a month or so. But the thing was, Newt's head was full of plots and revenge and gaining back her land. Champion just didn't believe in any of that anymore. It was so much easier when she'd been living as a rogue. She wanted to go back to the way she was before - not a Beta, not a soldier, just herself.

Or did she?

Ack! She didn't know anymore! She couldn't made heads or tails of what she wanted. Some days she lent one way, some days the other, and the more it changed, the more she felt like she couldn't trust herself. Not anymore. Not about this. She needed someone else. Someone, who could at least just be there to overtalk the voices in her head. Someone she knew. Someone she could be herself around.

Leaning her head back she let out another long slow howl for Vioxes. She'd been looking for him for some time. Maybe he'd be near, among the ice frosted lake and and the submerged forest of timber spires. She had been without him for a while now and dash it all if she didn't miss him.



. . .

The path ahead's so hard to see

It winds and bends but where it ends

Depends on only me