Let you down

His grief suddenly overflowed like a dam that had broken; the tears began to fall and he didn't bother trying to stop them. Corvus had tried with Twig but he'd had to balance his own grief with wanting to feel strong for her, and in a way he felt like he hadn't been able to express his sadness to its full extent. But with Theory suddenly it escaped and he was powerless to stop it, even if part of him he shouldn't burden anyone else with what had happened to him, and to Twig. There was too much good that had happened in Abaven to be truly sad; didn't that somehow outweigh all the bad he'd suffered? Unfortunately he knew feelings weren't like that - sadness wasn't simply erased in the event of happiness. The two things could coexist, and Corvus had to learn to accept that, not push it down in hopes it might disappear entirely. "T-thank you," he stammered, giving a half-sob as he tried to catch his breath. He lifted a paw to wipe at his tears, feeling less embarrassed by them than he'd expected to. "It's just... strange," he sniffed hard. "I don't know if I want to be a father. I've never really thought about it, but knowing it had almost happened and then the chance was gone - it really hurt, you know?" It was a painful loss, even if what he'd almost had wasn't something he was sure he even wanted. How many children might he have had? What would he have named them? What kind of father would he be? He hoped he'd be like his own had been - honest and vulnerable, strong and gentle. In many ways now he saw his father in himself, and he hoped someday he might be half the man that he had been. He let out a steady, shaky breath. "Just... don't tell anyone. I just - I don't want anyone feeling sorry for us or anything.." Corvus knew he had wolves, like Theory, he could talk to if he needed - and letting others expend any kind of energy on pity or sympathy seemed pointless when there were so many other things to focus on.