I hate to say this

Rudyard · 04-24-2021, 10:21 PM

Rudy had said his piece and so in turn he stayed quiet as Art said his. Yah, Rudy had been afraid this wasn’t going to go over well. He’d tried, he’d failed. Anyone else’s anger Rudy could have bit back at and challenged but with all of Art’s rage all Rudy could do was look away.

Rudy hadn’t gotten a description to this point of how everything had gone down. The boy had chosen not to ask mom for the details so as not to cause her pain. Rudy didn’t want to picture or feel what Art had to have gone through there. Rudy was just taking the tongue lashing, hell maybe in some part he’d wanted it. Guilt had plagued him but now he had someone else chewing him instead of being his own enemy.

It wasn’t until Art’s eyes lit up with anger at mom’s death that Rudy could do anything but hole up inside himself more. Anger came out as Art acted like Rudy never worked hard himself. As if he’d left things easy and let Art do all the work. They hadn’t trained in the same way but hell if Rudy had done nothing all his time! It wasn’t wrong to be happy! The boy had trained hard at hunting and still found time to work on fighting even if not as much as his brother. Rudy had tried learning how to read people, to help those who had inner scars instead of those on the outside.

Rudy felt a growl starting to rise up in his own throat. Hadn’t mom taken him on hunting lesson? It wasn’t that long ago he’d helped mom with the bear and had taken him out to hunt larger game. Rudy loved mom and how dare – Rudy felt his own breath coming out faster and heavier.
Pretty face? Shallow smile? Fake crown? Rudy’s mind was swirling with a gut-wrenching rage. Holding him back? Was calling him out here stopping him? A few moments out of his way? Hell, he wanted to tell Art that he did hate him. It wasn’t real, it was his own rage slipping through. Too much tension held in check.

“Yah, your clear. We’re done.” Rudy had worked so hard to follow logic and do what mom had asked. To respect her wishes. How could that be wrong? It wasn’t easy but –

Screw Art. Problem was, no matter how angry he was Art’s opinion of him meant more than the others. Throwing that onto his guilt just had the guilt growing which had the anger growing and it was a vicious cycle. So, he’d let his brother leave him out there.

Rudy was thinking of his next step. No one would like his next thought, but how new was that really? Rudy frequently did things no one liked. Big game huh? He’d have to go see Gwynn or another healer or maybe mom. There was one important question he had to ask before his decision was made. How long did mom have? Rudy still didn’t think he could save mom but if Art felt it was such a betrayal then maybe he was wrong. He wasn’t. What if he was? He wasn’t. Well, this was getting nowhere. Time to get a question answered.

"Rudyard"

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