Loyalty burns both ways

Tamsyn watched him closely as he moved closer to her, her teeth gritting to keep herself from flenching as his paw came to rest over the sore, worn spot on her back created by the sled she had drug all the way back to the Armada to make sure that Sirius' wish to bring their bodies home was fulfilled. She hated this fear, absolutely loathed it. He was her friend. Her one friend. She didn't want to be afraid of him. But she thought about the claws gripping her shoulder and the deadly look he had given her, the heated words of hatred, and she just couldn't get past it. Not yet at least.

She continued to watch him warily until suddenly his paw hit the earth hard beside her and made her jump, the anxiety shifting into panic that she bit back and swallowed down and repressed till it hurt. She tried to calm the shallow, panicked breaths that she managed to get into her lungs, but she didn't really succeed. She flinched under his words as he yelled at her for not stopping, for treating her body badly, for not leaving him there. Her gaze fixed on the ground in front of her as he spoke, unable to look at him as pained tears welled up in her eyes. He's just stressed. He's hurt. He doesn't mean it. She kept thinking these things to herself, assuring herself that it would all pass, but those excuses were beginning to wear thin even in her own mind.

Dammit Tamsyn, you ran from Resin when she tried to hurt you. Why didn't you run from me.

It felt like ice ran through her veins at the accusation, her breath catching in her chest. She had thought about the moment after Artorias found her outside their room again and again, playing the moment back of her internal conflict with her not being able to open the damn door when Resin's voice was calling out to her from the other side. She couldn't move her own body to help her mate. Her lover. She couldn't help her. But she could help Sirius. He wasn't lost to her yet. That was when she was finally able to pull her gaze up from the floor, her desperate, pained eyes finding his as tears began to fog her vision. When she spoke her voice was quiet, but dripping in hurt. "When I ran from Resin I lost her forever. I can't lose you too. I... I can't lose you. I can't." It was what she had kept telling him when she was forcing him away from the site of the fire and it was the only answer she had for him now.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"