You Say Stubborn, I Say Thorough

Lúta's sympathies didn't go unheard by the young wolf, but he did not respond. He didn't know how to. So many apologies, so many sympathies, what was he even supposed to say to them all? He remained quiet while the master healer obliged his requests for information on his mother's condition, explaining to him in terms—some simple and some not—about how Resin's brain was losing its ability to function properly. She asked about Iolaire after expressing her own frustrations at her limitations on medical knowledge of mental and cognitive issues. Artorias' frown deepened. Iolaire hadn't been seen around the Hallows since they had moved to Auster, and he wouldn't have the faintest inkling where to even begin sending Corbin to look with a message about their mother. "I don't know, and the only wolf who might know is locked up and refusing visitors," he replied, his voice hard with the frustration of the impossible situation. Even if Resin knew where Iolaire was, there was no way she'd give up that information, not when she was staunchly refusing any help or company. Dammit all, why did his mother have to be so stubborn?!

Artorias received the answer he had been ultimately afraid of when Lúta finished describing the outcome of Resin's diagnosis. No matter how the road went, the destination was always the same. Resin would die. It was the hard, unavoidable truth that he was being forced to face. No matter how much he wanted it to be different, there seemed to be no other way this situation would turn out. Artorias' heart broke, the pieces plummeting into his stomach, and at long last the stray tears fell down his nose. He managed an appreciative not to Lúta when she said she would keep trying; it was all he could ask of her anymore. Even if it was in vain, Artorias was at least content to see that not everyone had accepted Resin as dead yet.

"Thank you, Lúta..." Artorias managed to get out, though his voice felt choked by his own emotions and the weight of his family's situation crushing down around him. The boy dipped his head respectfully to her and then got up and headed for the door. There was nothing more he needed to hear, and she needed to do her work to help his mother. The last thing she needed was him getting in her way. Artorias was halfway to the door when Lúta asked if there was anything he wanted her to relay to his mother and he froze, paw still hovering mid-stride. What would he even want to say to Resin after all this? She had turned him way, hadn't wanted to see him, given up. The last time he had seen her, he'd yelled at her, treated her like some sort of violent monster, then swore he would find a way to fix her. Now it seemed like he was doomed to fail that task no matter how hard he tried.

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, but Artorias did turn to look back at Lúta, an unreadable expression of regret and pain doing its best to stay repressed behind his eyes. "Could you tell her... that I'm sorry for how I treated her... That she's my mother and I'll love her, always, no matter what..." Artorias swallowed hard, gathering up the courage he needed for what he really wanted to say. He couldn't meet Lúta's eyes when he spoke, afraid that if he did, he'd break down again. Strong—he needed to be strong. "Could you also tell her that even if I can't save her, I want her to know that I never gave up... just like she taught me... I'm never going to give up..." His piece said, Artorias gave a solemn nod of his head, then turned and walked out the door, holding his breath until he was down the hall so Lúta wouldn't see him when the sobs finally wracked his body with uncontrollable tremors and labored breathing. If their time with Resin was as limited as she said, he knew he had to see her one last time. He would not carry that regret for the rest of his life.

— Exit unless stopped  —


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"