But if it had to perish twice,

It felt like the world stopped. Heavy tension hung in the air as Sirius' face fell and Artorias continued to silently rage and seethe with anger. She thought for a moment that her son might still go after Sirius in the end, but he turned and stormed off, pausing only long enough to fix them both with a hard stare that said more than any words he could have spit at them. He tossed up a howl for a healer and she sighed tiredly, knowing Gwynevere would be here any moment just to fret and worry herself sick. She was too tired. Far too tired to think about the implications of what all of this could mean between her and Artorias. She knew she'd have to talk to him about it all eventually, but not today. Today she barely had it in her to stay in one piece.

She waited till Artorias was pretty much out of sight before she turned to look at Sirius, seeing the shock written plainly across his face. It occurred to her that she had never told him that her boy shared his name. She thought for certain she had told him at some point, but perhaps that was one of the many things that she had slipped past her. She was quiet as she looked at him with a worn, wary expression. "You know... When I insisted on giving him your name, I didn't realize how much like you he would be." Sometimes the similarities in their personalities were uncanny and it made her love Artorias all the more, but it also frustrated her to no end. Just like Sirius. They both had such a fire, both went at the world wanting to attack their problems. Both held their families so tight and would rip the world apart if anything happened to them. It was no wonder that they clashed, she just wished it didn't have to be right now.

Tamsyn's tired eyes lingered on Sirius for a moment longer, words hanging on the end of her tongue. So much she wanted to say, so much that she knew she shouldn't. Words that twisted her gut and begged to just be let off her chest so they could be let off of her soul. "Sirius..." She immediately cut herself off, her ears flicking back against her skull as she gave a hard shake of her head and glanced away from him. Now didn't feel like the time. Just like she told Artorias, now wasn't the time. Things were still too raw, too painful. Everything hurt, physically and mentally.

Dragging herself to her feet, she turned toward the castle, glancing over her shoulder at her frustrating, hurting, stupid friend. "Are you staying? Or are you going back?" She knew he had said he would stay for a few hours before, but that was before. Before all of this. "I can tell Resin if you need me to." she added, offering him the out if he needed to escape. Trying to keep him with her only seemed to do more harm than good and she was sick of hurting him more by trying to help him.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"