This loss feels like a welcome home

"Well, that certainly didn't go to plan, did it?" she questioned when he explained that he had only intended to let Art get a few licks in before they talked it out. More humor. Another soft chuckle. Slowly but surely, trying to build them back to normalcy. She needed that normal so badly. Even though all of this had happened in the span of days instead of years, that's what it felt like. It felt like each major event had been a separate life time ago and it made her feel like there was nothing of her left. She was trying desperately to hold on to the bit of herself that she had left and tried to protect it dearly.

Her expression darkened when he mentioned smelling the burning flesh. That wasn't something she was going to forget any time soon. She understood what he meant though. When surviving felt too hard, too painful. It was a feeling she knew too well and constantly struggled with. It got better, but it never really went away. "I know," she replied simply, her voice soft and knowing. She hated that he had to go through this. She wished she could make it stop for him, take it all away. She already knew how to deal with the feeling of wanting to end it all, she knew what signs to look for in herself. If she could she would just take it from him and put it on herself.

She was quiet while he explained what had happened to Briar, how he had woken up to his teeth lodged into her throat. Her eyes widened with horror, but she didn't pull her head away from his. A little trickle of fear creeped up her spine and she had to fight it off. It was just too close to home, too similar to what she had gone through with Resin. There were obvious differences in the cause, but it was just similar enough to squeeze at her, constricting her with the memory of how she nearly lost half of her face. She was very, very glad that Briar was okay, but it worried her that something like that could happen again.

She sighed at the demand he made, questioning if she was doing the right thing. She was quiet for a long moment, really trying to consider the question for him instead of outright insisting that she was. She knew how hard it was to keep going. To keep fighting. Especially when the enemy wasn't a physical being. She ended up not answering the question at all. He should already know the answer to that. She wouldn't be trying so damn hard to do it if she didn't think it was right. Instead she lifted her head from his letting her mint gaze find his.

Her tone was quiet and thoughtful as she spoke, her mind clearly far away as she dug through her memories. "Do you remember... when I first joined the Armada... You called me to come talk to you and introduce yourself. I showed you my scars, told you how broken I was, how I hadn't fought a day in my life. Do you remember what you told me? You said, 'You are my wolf now. No one will ever hurt you this way again and live.' That was the first time anyone had ever made me feel wanted. After a life time of being rejected and beaten within an inch of my life, you picked me up and you fixed me. Made me better than I could have ever dreamed to be."

Her vision started to blur with tears and she quickly tried to blink them away, as she kept going, "I can't let you go. You gave me my life back and now I want to give you your life back too. It's time for me to return the favor so you can keep finding lost, broken wolves and keep putting them back together. Can't you understand that?" Can't you understand that I've loved you since then? A thought crossed her mind and a laugh bubbled up from her, tears spilling down her cheeks as she reached up and tapped his nose with her paw, adding, "You dumb, selfish bastard..."

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"