This loss feels like a welcome home

Tamsyn heard the scuffle of paws as he tried to stand only to fall back to the ground in pain and her worried gaze snapped up to him. She saw the tears wetting his cheeks, saw how he couldn’t seem to look at her. He asked her to forgive him. A soft sigh left her, a soft tremor going through her as the tension fell from her shoulders, her battling thoughts releasing her. Slowly, she managed her make her paws obey her as she moved closer to him, laying down in front of him so that they were facing each other on the floor. She reached out with both of her paws, holding his uninjured one. Her much smaller paws were dwarfed by his and even with both of her paws combined she could barely cover his. How could someone so big, so strong, so utterly ruthless at times break her heart like this?

"There's nothing to forgive," she told him softly, gently squeezing his paw as her eyes lifted to find his. She tried to pull a smile onto her face, but it wasn't entirely successful. She tried to hide the pain and confusion she felt, but she wasn't sure if that was entirely successful either. He had always seemed to see right through her, breaking apart any walls she had ever tried to build for herself. "You... You just reminded me of some feelings that I tried to forget. That's all." No physical damage was done, she didn't hate him, she wasn't angry with him - though she wondered if he would feel better if she was. Maybe it would make more sense to him if she started yelling and blaming him. That seemed to get through to him better.

She looked down at his paw that she held between hers again, trying to ignore the tears welling up in her own eyes. "I've loved you nearly since the day I met you," she confessed softly, her ears folding back against her head. "I never wanted you to know. You had Zee. I couldn't compete with Zee - I didn't want to. I... I still can't complete with Zee. I know I'll never be as important as Zee to you. And... I had Resin... have Resin." Guilt twisted in her gut. Resin. Her Resin that was still locked away, slowly losing herself. Why was she even considering any of this?! Her loneliness was rearing its ugly head and eating away at her slowly, but surely. Wearing her away just like everything else.



"Tamsyn" | "Blue"