Take The Gun And Count To Three

He sighed as she pushed into his chest, biting back the relief he felt at the feeling. He knew it was only just putting salve on a wound. It wasn't healing anything, but it took away some of the sting. In the end it would probably only open up that wound wider and make it hurt more, but it was too late. He had let her in and by doing that he had willingly driven the knife in deeper. He looked down at her, still hesitant and uncertain as her tear filled eyes looked up at him, listening as she told him that she didn't want it to end like this. He never wanted to see anyone he cared about hurt or cry, not even Aranea. His brow creased when she told him that she didn't want him to remember her only by how it had ended. Conflict raged in him because that's exactly what he wanted. He wanted to remember her storming out, refusing him as he tried to comfort her. It was easier that way. It gave him something to cling on to when he was longing and lonely. A reminder of how he needed to be more careful and cautious with his heart and his family.

But now she was here and the feeling of her body against his put him right back to where he always had been when she came to visit him like this. She stirred up the desires in him that he didn't want her to poke at and before his brain fully caught up to what he was doing he dipped his head down her hers, catching her lips with his own. It hurt as much as it helped, soothing one desire and aggravating another. But still he pressed his muzzle to hers, kissing her with a hunger that he didn't want to address. It had been weeks and weeks since he had held anyone at all and now here she was, reminding him of the pain he had been hiding and ignoring deep, deep down under his responsibilities and duties.

When he broke that insistent kiss he didn't pull away, lingering there on the edge, just waiting to be tipped one way or another. "You shouldn't be here," he reiterated, his voice deep and rumbling and breathy. He wanted her to break the trace and release him, walk back out of the room and leave his life forever so he could never be tempted by her again. But he also wanted her to kiss him again, continue stoking that fire that he had been hastily tossing water onto over and over since he broke off what they had. He already knew what she would pick. They were too weak, they always had been. When Allegro was here he had been able to see the error of what he had done and had been able to build up the resolve to make a clean break from her, but that was gone now. Now things were messy and heavy and he needed her. He needed all of it.

Walk | "Talk" | think