This loss feels like a welcome home

Once Sirius was back on his bed and he was returning her smile she was able to relax even more and smile a little wider. Perhaps the problem was that they spun each other out of control. When he was upset or hurting she was upset or hurting for him in return and that only seemed to escalate the issue. She tried her best to stay calm, but sometimes it felt impossible. He just made her feel everything far too strongly and it was overwhelming. At least for now things had been returned to their equilibrium and she could put her feelings and concerns onto a back burner to simmer for her to consider on her own later. Now it was time for breakfast.

She nodded when he agreed that breakfast sounded good and was about to turn and head out to fetch something for them both when he asked about the lines she had created and made the assumption that laying in the same bed would be crossing them. The additional clarification of them being awake made her give him a sympathetic glance and made a pang in her chest. She thought about how comforting it had been to be able to sleep alongside him the night before and knew she was going to miss that possibility, but she understood. She was living proof of how ignoring those warning signs could be dangerous. She considered where her newly formed lines would lay for a moment before she answered, saying, "Maybe... Maybe not today, but... I think laying beside each other on the same bed while awake is doable." She chuckled at the very specific parameters, feeling like they were almost ridiculous, but if that was what it took to maintain their friendship and keep her from trying to step over boundaries then she would do it. She didn't know if she had the strength to face it today, but maybe.

"Alright... I'll go find us some food. Don't get into trouble while I'm gone and don't mess with your bandages," she warned him, giving him a very stern, motherly look before a grin cracked her features and she turned to go out into the hallway. As she went down the hall, turning a corner, and then down into a cellar where they kept some of the meat from recent hunts, her mind started playing back everything that happened from this morning to now. Waking up on top of Sirius, trying and failing to comfort him, the kiss... The godsdamn kiss that still stuck in the front of her mind, unrelenting and mocking. The confession, his denial, the resolution. Even as she reached the chilled room and began picking up a couple of pieces of venison, it was still playing back in her head. Fierce, platonic love. That phrase stung more than it probably should, but she'd find a way to accept it. She had to.

As she made her way back to the infirmary, her mint eyes looked further down the hall, past the door she was aiming for, picturing the path that would take her to the dungeons. Resin... Guilt churned and gripped at her stomach. Even though she knew that it wouldn't help the situation in the end, she knew she'd have to tell her mate what happened. She had always been entirely honest with the scarred woman and that certainly wouldn't stop now. Perhaps if she could find some sort of betrayal or anger from Resin that could help her forget, help her move past this. With that thought lingering in the back of her mind, she walked into the infirmary, bringing the smile back to her face as she came to hand off one of the steaks to her friend. Fierce, platonic love. "Here you are! Breakfast is served."

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"