Forgive me for I have sinned

There was a heavy pause, a quiet that was chilling right through to her core, as if cold had somehow seeped into her soul as heart beats passed without a word in response. Then came the laugh that made her hackles bristle, a sound that would no doubt haunt her dreams for some times to come. "They couldn't even wait until we were dead." Her ears pinned to her skull while she watched Resin with wide, worried eyes, guilt reaching up from her gut and threatening to strangle her. She could see Resin fracturing in front of her, the growl she gave making every muscle in her body tense, making her feel as if her muscles could make her implode in on herself as fear creeped up her spine.

Like flipping a switch she saw Resin breathe deep and then her Resin was back for just a moment, telling her to find her comforts where she could and that she had her blessing. But the damage was done, the fear and guilt dug deep into her like talons. Even if she hadn't initiated that godsforsaken kiss, even if she had drawn her lines between them when it was all said and done, she had been the one to kiss him back. She had foolishly confessed her love for him. This was her fault. All her fault. Panic squeezed her lungs and suddenly the dungeon felt much more small than it had moments ago.

Resin... her Resin. It wasn't fair that the one wolf she actually got to call hers was being ripped away from her and all she could do was sit here and watch her slip away, falling down this sharp incline of insanity that would only lead to her being shattered and broken at the bottom. Everything hurt. Her lungs felt tight and as if air wasn't allowed in them any longer, her muscles tensed so hard that it aggravated the healing wounds on her shoulders and back, her eyes burned with tears she was tired of shedding. It hurt knowing that there was nothing she could do.

When Resin warned her to leave, that she was slipping again, Tamsyn did the only thing she knew how to do these days. She ran. She got up and ran up the stairs, fleeing the dungeon and bursting out into the open air of the castle with a gasp, like she was coming up from being underwater. Her teeth grit painfully tight and for a moment she didn't know where to go. She didn't want to worry her children any more than she already had. She didn't want to go to Sirius - he had been the cause of all this to begin with. There was no one left to turn to. Her list of friends and family was painfully short and she had crossed them all of. She felt lost and aimless and ended up running down the hall to the stars, ignoring painful paws and wounds, leaping up the stairs until she had managed to make it all the way up to the top of the tower, breathing in gasps of wonderfully cool air, putting herself as far from Resin as she could. Space was good.

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"