Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
He declined her offer to take the flowers, offering to make tea for both of them instead and she quietly nodded. That would be nice. If they were his favorite flower, maybe he had a better idea of how to use the herb as well, and she could watch how he made the tea and learn something new.
She couldn’t help but notice that he seemed just as hesitant as she was, and wasn’t as quick to touch her as he normally was. It made sense, and was probably one of the main things that pushed her to spill her thoughts out. Any time he did reach out to her though, she would lean into the touch to show that she appreciated the contact. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that her dismal mood was his fault, or that she was pulling away because of him. He had done so much for her, and the idea that her distress might affect him negatively made her feel a new layer of guilt on top of everything else.
He was quiet as she spoke, and she didn’t feel like he was judging her, and he didn’t look at her like she was crazy. It was a good start and helped to ease at least a little of her anxiety. He assured her once more that he would always be there for her, unless she sent him away, and she nodded. She couldn’t see herself ever doing that, but the idea of clinging to him when she could hardly do anything for herself made her feel selfish. Would he ever let her know if she became a burden to him? The more assurances he gave her, the more she doubted he would, and she didn’t think she’d have the strength to separate herself if she ever felt that she was becoming more trouble than she was worth to him. It meant she would need to do something to make herself useful sooner rather than later.
She thought about his words as he told her he would help her, wondering what could be done. Neither of them had any clue, but if he was right about this being fate, then there had to be a point here somewhere. "I think… Maybe if I start working towards something real it could help. I feel useless, and I promised I would be more than just a mouth to feed and a body to protect, and I don’t feel like I’ve done that so far." She paused, glancing up at him before dropping her gaze to the flowers again. "I think I’d like to start training as a healer." That would be a start, at least. It would give her something to occupy her time, and give her a purpose beyond just existing and trying to help with small tasks here and there.
"Speech" || Thoughts
