The Secrets That You Keep

All of this situation was so confusion to the young boy, so he was grateful when his mother began to clarify some of the questions that had brought storm clouds to darken his eyes. He searched her pain-filled eyes when she finally looked up at him, seeking some sort of answers to the inner turmoil he felt at the thought of his mother cheating with their close family friend. The most important was that she confirmed that no, she did not love Sirius more than Resin. He didn't understand what she meant by it being different, but so long as their family wasn't at risk of being torn asunder, he supposed it really didn't matter that much right now. Artorias listened quietly while Tamsyn tried to defend Sirius' actions, comparing them to Sirius not meaning to hurt Briar or how he hadn't meant to hurt Sirius. Except... hadn't he meant to hurt Sirius? At the time, he had been so angry and so out of control to his rage, but he had wanted to kill the brute that had threatened his mother and best friend. But once he calmed down, no, he didn't want to kill Sirius. Well, maybe he would if the Warlord tried to break apart his family with more infidelity.

Wolves do crazy things when they're under a lot of stress or emotions. Artorias thought about the words he had said to Resin, the way he's snapped at Rudy... He could understand that. Emotions seemed to be running rampant right now and everyone was losing control one way or another. It was as if they were all trapped in a hurricane and they were waiting out the storm to see clear skies again. When she looked away and tried to explain away why she had kissed Sirius back, Artorias also turned his head away, staring over the parapets to the distant forests and mountains, looking at them but not seeing them as he was lost in thought. "If it's not okay to do that, then why did you?" he asked, pressing the issue, his voice softened by uncertainty and an emotion that hung on the fringes of doubt. "I don't understand how you do something like that if it's not okay. How do you put yourself in that position? How do you just... kiss someone you're not supposed to?"

Artorias let the question hang in the air for a few heavy moments. He was trying really, really hard to not accuse his mother of something terrible, but at the same time, hadn't she done something terrible? Hadn't she disregarded all of them when she put herself in that situation? He didn't know how relationships were supposed to work, neither of his parents had taken the time to teach their kids about that, but if it was so wrong then why did she do it so easily and readily? Because Resin was dying? Do excuses make it excusable? He didn't understand, and Tamsyn wasn't making much sense with her hypocritical responses. What was she trying to tell him, "do as I say, not as I do"? "She's your mate 'for a little while'...? So what, once she's dead you'll go right back to him like nothing happened now that you're... what, you're 'free to do so'...?" Artorias' question came out with a little bit of an edge to his tone when he considered Tamsyn turning to fling herself into Sirius' arms the moment Resin was gone. It would make too much sense, wouldn't it? He was widowed, she would be too. They'd be such a match made in heaven. What would that mean for their families? The Carpathius' and Fatalis' would be step siblings? For some reason, that didn't sit right in his gut when he thought about Briar...

"What did Mom say...?" he eventually asked, wondering what Resin's response would have been to the news of the scandal. "She's the one you'll hurt the most from this." Artorias felt so conflicted by Tamsyn's apology. He didn't want to see his mother lonely or in anguish or suffering, but at the same time could he turn a blind eye to her running the risk of ruining their family? Whose side was he supposed to be on? What was right and what was wrong? Nothing made sense and all the lines were so blurred. He didn't accept her apology right away, nor did he say anything just yet, letting his mother answer him first.


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"