This loss feels like a welcome home
Sirius
Sirius
High Councilor
Master Fighter (240)
Master Hunter (275)
Bloodletter
age
11 Years
11 Years
gender
Male
Male
gems
23
23
player
Seadragoness
Seadragoness
05-07-2021, 07:20 PM
A thousand words
He nodded his head slowly, accepting her judgment. He knew that in the Hallows, he was doing far better then he had done in the Armada. He was slowly coming back together, piece by jagged piece. Tamsyn and Art had as much reason to be broken as he was, but their stoic and unyielding wall of sanity were his waves broken against their rocks time and time again was slowly showing him how it was done. They hurt, but they did not let it define them. They did not forget their reasons to live.
He was not sure how he would fare once he moved back to the Armada. A part of him did not want to. Did not want to see the pain in the eyes of his children, the expectation in his pack. This was his sanctuary, and he feared breaching its walls.
He managed a half smile at her parting words. “No promises” was his only commitment. Somehow, she had read his mind on his intentions. Perhaps she could see the way he rubbed his bandage slowly against the floor, or the grimace in his eyes.
He watched her form slip through the doors, and felt all the more hollow for her passing. He was clinging to her, in his typical, terrible, Sirius fashion. He decided that something was his, and he clung to it with all his might. His need made it all the more terrible, and he was afraid. Afraid of what this would do to Tamsyn, if she ever glimpsed just how desperately he clung to her. He could not cling to Zee now. He had tried, and Tamsyn had disabused him of the notion. He could not cling to a dead woman and follow her to the halls of what came after. So he clung to the living with the same level of unhealthy obsession.
Mine.
He knew, if Tamsyn wished it to be so or not.
Mine. His mind promised, through his promises to his wife's memory kept him from loving her, it did not change the facts. Mine. Mine. Mine.
She returned to find him trying to subtly scratch beneath his bandages, a hint of blood on one sharp claw. He licked in clean as she pushed her way back into the room, and he staggered forward, so he could accept the offering she settled before him.
"Speech"
He was not sure how he would fare once he moved back to the Armada. A part of him did not want to. Did not want to see the pain in the eyes of his children, the expectation in his pack. This was his sanctuary, and he feared breaching its walls.
He managed a half smile at her parting words. “No promises” was his only commitment. Somehow, she had read his mind on his intentions. Perhaps she could see the way he rubbed his bandage slowly against the floor, or the grimace in his eyes.
He watched her form slip through the doors, and felt all the more hollow for her passing. He was clinging to her, in his typical, terrible, Sirius fashion. He decided that something was his, and he clung to it with all his might. His need made it all the more terrible, and he was afraid. Afraid of what this would do to Tamsyn, if she ever glimpsed just how desperately he clung to her. He could not cling to Zee now. He had tried, and Tamsyn had disabused him of the notion. He could not cling to a dead woman and follow her to the halls of what came after. So he clung to the living with the same level of unhealthy obsession.
Mine.
He knew, if Tamsyn wished it to be so or not.
Mine. His mind promised, through his promises to his wife's memory kept him from loving her, it did not change the facts. Mine. Mine. Mine.
She returned to find him trying to subtly scratch beneath his bandages, a hint of blood on one sharp claw. He licked in clean as she pushed her way back into the room, and he staggered forward, so he could accept the offering she settled before him.
