Share the pain

Avantika · 05-09-2021, 03:42 PM

Avantika felt strange. Her consciousness was fuzzy and gray, and everything seemed to take more effort than it had Before. Before Resin's sickness, before her death, before everything she knew collapsed in on itself. She barely seemed to have emotions anymore, except for anger, which tore through her hotter than it ever had, sparking at the most minor inconvenience. And fear. There was fear, yes. Fear was ever-present. She was afraid of so many things. She'd been given the role of Knight, and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to rise to the responsibilities of that position.

Responsibilities. She was beginning to hate that word.

It wasn't like she didn't want to be the best for her pack. That would make it easier. No, she just... couldn't. A part of her, a hidden, ashamed part of her, wanted to run away and never come back. She wanted so desperately to forget about all of this. But she couldn't.

She was in an impossible fog with no correct answers. She was helpless. She hated that she was so helpless. She hated it so much that her vision went red sometimes. But, of course, that still didn't help.

She was going out to patrol the borders, as she was doing an awful lot these days, when she saw Rudy. He was standing close to the castle's entrance. Avantika wasn't exactly in the mood for talking, but an idea sparked. She used to spar him a lot. Both of them liked fighting. And fighting never made her feel helpless. In fact, it made her feel the opposite of helpless. She hadn't brought her birthday present armor with her, but this was Rudy. She doubted he would go for her throat or face. Even if he did, maybe the danger would make her feel more alive. "Hey, Rudy." Her voice wasn't excited, but it wasn't exactly flat, either. She couldn't keep a little growl of anger (at life, not at her adoptive brother) out of it, though. "Up for a spar?"

She needed a good fight to break the monotony.

"Avantika to Kaata telepathy"
"Kaata to Avantika telepathy"
"speech"

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