here when its hard

He didn't want to answer the Warlord's question. He didn't want to have to say the words and explain what had broken his heart when he'd seen Resin last. He wanted to pretend that everything was going to be fine and it would all work out in the end; that this would somehow have a happily ever after in it, just like the stories Tamsyn had told them when they were pups. But he couldn't. That wasn't an option anymore. Part of growing up and becoming an adult meant facing the painfulness of reality—and right now, reality was sucker punching him like there was no tomorrow. He felt the weight of Sirius' paw on his shoulder, and his body both relaxed and gave a shudder of pent up emotion under the his godfather's touch. He didn't want to tell Sirius, but if Sirius was already here, he'd find out the truth on his own soon enough. The least he could do was prepare the Warlord for the fight he was about to be facing.

"She... didn't even say that much," he began. His ears folded back to his head, eyes glassy and distant while he recalled that moment with horrific clarity. "She didn't recognize me. Not at all. It was as if she had never met me before. She just said, 'And who might you be?' when I came to her." His heart ached. That had felt like a punch in the gut, the moment he realized he had been too late to say goodbye to his own mother. "I went right after I was given my rank in the pack. I just... wanted to thank her for everything she did for me. All the lessons, all the guidance, all the training and love... But I was too late. She was already gone... Not violent like she is now, just... gone. Like someone had erased all of her memories."

He took in a breath, his body shaking as he did so, and peered up at Sirius, who wasn't too much taller than he was now. "I know there's nothing more we can do to help her... I just want you to know how she is so maybe it won't hurt you as bad as it hurt me." Artorias trembled again, forcing himself to hold it all together. All he had wanted was one last moment with his mother, one last chance to say he loved her and get his goodbyes in, and even life had stolen that away from him. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to keep failing and losing?


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"