I'm here to make the understatements

She looked at him now as he sympathized with her, tried to bring lightness to her struggle, encouraging her, offering himself as her sounding board. It was hard to believe that this was the same man that had been throwing himself onto still burning embers to reach his wife's body, threatening her as she tried to save him. This was her Sirius. Her Sirius was back and it warmed and hurt her all at once. Her friend. Her only friend. Fierce, platonic love. Now that she had an open invitation to say whatever she wanted or needed she almost couldn't find the words. They all escaped her as she looked up at his sapphire eyes.

"I'd yell at Rudyard for leaving without telling anyone and worrying the hell out of me - even if it was to go try to find something to help Resin," she started, picking at any little thing that had strained her, slowly pulling at strings until she began to unravel. As she spoke her words picked up momentum and heat, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I'd tell Gwynevere that she's going to end up killing herself if she doesn't slow down and think of herself for just a moment. I'd tell Ulric that I hate him for ever allowing Resin to lock herself in that damn cell to begin with... I'd curse at whatever being or god put Resin and I together and let me love her like this... I'd curse them even more for taking her away from me... I'd-" She stopped short, biting back the words that she wouldn't be able to take back. She couldn't do that to herself again, not again. Lines. She needed lines. She sighed heavily and lowered her head, stepping forward until she head butted his chest. I'd tell you how infuriating it is to not be able to love you. I'd tell you how painfully lonely it is laying in my room alone.

"I hate this. All of it. Every single last bit. I just want everything to go back to how it was." She lifted her head again to look at him as another thought crossed her mind, desperate frustration in her eyes. "You know what might be the worst part? On top of the nightmares about Resin attacking me, the nightmares about my father came back. My fucking father. I thought those were gone! I... I haven't had those dreams since I started seeing Resin. Not even after Osmond showed up. And now that, on top of all of this. I just..." She turned from him and found a small rock near by, kicking it hard with a grunt and sending the thing flying in a toss that was ultimately unsatisfying. "I just want it all to stop."

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"