I’ve Learned To Lose You

*Aranea* · 05-12-2021, 12:05 PM

Quiet When I'm Coming Home And I'm on My Own
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She had destroyed what she had with Allegro, and she messed up what she could have had with Ulric. Still, a strong part of her thought that if Ulric found her by chance just outside The Hallows, he would welcome her back into his arms, bearing his children.

This peace of mind dwindled with each day he didn't find her. Didn't catch on to her scent, didn't come looking for her. Her altercation with Allegro had stoned some bruises on her heart. And all his words rained down on repeat to her, especially in her more vulnerable state at night. She couldn't take anymore of the ruin she brought on herself, she knew she brought it on herself. She came to her final conclusion.

She had become weak, she had lost some weight. It could have been the enormous babies growing in her, but she also wasn't taking care of herself. This wouldn't be the first time. She ventured the edge of the haunted forest, a lake lingered in the thin walls of trees inside the surrounding plains. She carried a bowl with herbs and a couple other supplies.

She settled close to the water, mashing the herbs and breaking up the properties inside, she mixed the herbs with fat, only enough to make it easy to go down. She rose, leaving the bowl of her concoction behind her as she ventured to the edge of the bank of the pond. She peeked over the edge at her reflection, entirely disgusted with what she saw. Aranea had a lot of insecurities, being undesirable was her strongest one. She needed something to replace her entire heart, dote on her, love her, make her feel like a queen. She felt like she was nothing without anyone to share her life with, whether that was Tyranis, Allegro, or Ulric. She had no one now. And everything Allegro had told her about their children would come true to these children.

She turned away from the water's edge, immediately taking down what she had in the bowl, an overdose of Khat. She was ready to let go of her life, like she had failed so many times before. She laid down, looking out at the pond's surface. Until she couldn't remember anything else.

She couldn't even remember any delusions from the drug, only just an eternal darkness around her. She felt free of everything that had been weighed on her. There were no nightmares, no fatal memories. Just nothing. Completely unconscious or maybe just a slight groan from her throat, she began to bleed from where she would birth Ulric's children, her intent may have been to kill them before herself. She thought it would be quicker for them that way.

Walk "Talk"
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I Could Lie And Say I Like It Like That

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